Plan B... or C or D

Life, according to Green Day, is about giving up when it gets too hard. Lay down your arms, give up the fight. If "Plan A" goes up in flames, surrender and count your losses. Because really, who wants to resort to "Plan B"?

My life is a story of Plan Bs, Cs, Ds... Plan A died long ago when, as a child, things didn't go the way I thought they would. Plan B died in high school. Plan C in college. Plan D a little over a year ago. So the question becomes, if Plan A fails, is God done with you? Isn't Plan A the best plan and when that fails, haven't you messed up your life just a little too much?

Well, not exactly. If you look at biblical history, a lot of Plan As failed. Plan A for Adam and Eve was to spend forever, perfect, in the Garden of Eden. Plan A was for Esau to get the blessing. Plan A was for Joseph to live it up, the favorite son. Plan A was for the Hebrews to get out of Egypt and into the Promised Land. But somewhere along the line, Plan A failed.

God is the God of Plan B... or C or D, because our plans often fail miserably. I had life all figured out, multiple times. But just because those didn't work out, doesn't mean that God stopped working on me. God works through our failures, however many there are, it's called redemption.

The thing to keep in mind, is that God isn't bound to our plans. He works through our choices, around them, over them, but ultimately, it's his plan that succeeds.

Giving up the driver's seat is hard. Especially when we think our plan is perfect. But the best thing for us to do is let go. Right now. Wherever you're at in your Plan H or N or Z, just stop. Stay right where you are, in your land of broken plans. Like God told the Israelites in Jeremiah 29:4-11, stay in exile in Babylon, because he has plans that he is working out. He has the whole picture.

"Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord." - Ps. 27:14

How Not to Worry...

... I wish I knew.

I could enjoy life so much more if I could learn how to not worry.

When I was a kid, all I wanted to do was grow up. I wanted to be an adult and do adult things. I couldn't wait until I got older.

Well now I'm older and all of a sudden I have all these things to worry about. I have to find a job to take care of myself and pay my rent and cell phone bill. I have to find a job so I can buy food and wash my dishes and drive to the store.

And since I don't have a job, I have plenty of time to sit around and be worried. Worried about what will happen if I can't find a job, what I'll do next.

The funny thing is, I know I shouldn't be worried. Trust God, that's what I've preached for the past four years. God provides, God guides, He works out the little details.

So why can't I practice what I've preached? Why can't I really trust God to work out the details? Why is something I thought was so easy, something I did every day, suddenly so hard?

I know God has a plan. I just have to wait to see what that will be.

Wait, pray, trust... And try not to worry.

Can I Get a Refund for These Plans?

As sold out as I was for this whole moving thing... I sure hope I was sold out correctly. Some moments I'm not entirely sure I was, but others, I'm glad I got here.

The thing with life is, we want it all to go "just right" all of the time. We want it to work, for everything to come together, for there to be no seams, no cracks, no second-guessing. We want our idea of how life should go and we want it to happen now.

I am the walking example of the fact that life, at least for me, has NOT gone how I wanted it to go at all. I can trace this reality back to when I was 2ish, maybe 3. It's be a recurring theme since then.

I didn't get to date the guy I had a crush on since 7th grade, even though I had been planning on us going out when he turned 18 ever since I was 12.

I didn't get to grow up in the city I loved with my best friends. I got to move to Flint--aka, the Armpit of Michigan--instead.

High school was a complete screw-up, a nightmare that was definitely NOT "the best years of my life." Sometimes I think I'd like to do it over, other times, I'm just glad I made it out of there alive.

College did not go at all how I'd planned. A combination of me messing things up for myself and guys being... well Moody boys, contributed to that one. I wasn't planning on turning cynical either, though I'm glad I'm getting some feeling in my heart once again.

I never planned on living in Clinton, with all the memories I couldn't escape from.

And I never planned on moving to Colorado, though this is a welcomed unexpectancy. Now I just have to figure out, or wait and see, what's going to happen next. I shouldn't try to plan anything out though, because it probably won't happen.

So what am I doing here? Is there a job waiting, a future, a plan, or am I passing through again on my way to someplace else?

I know we're not supposed to really settle down as believers. This isn't our home, "we're just passing through." But I can't help but wish for a little place to belong. No, I won't be here for long, but a place to rest and breathe and be would certainly be nice.

Can I ask for that? Or is that selfish? Or silly?

One day I suppose everything will make sense. And all the little pieces of life will suddenly come together into an undeniable whole.

Until then, I need some direction.

old post connection

Bad News for Journalists

Saw this on Yahoo!:

Bad week for Chicago journalists