Thoughts After Houston

Setting foot back in Texas was like coming home. It makes sense initially, the place you lived the longest and grew up should feel like home. But I had never lived in Houston, only Dallas and its surrounding cities, which is why the feeling of belonging surprised me. Everything felt right, familiar, even in a place I had never spent much time. It was strange to feel that way, and I realized I haven’t felt at home, in the way I felt then, since I left Texas. I haven’t felt at home for 18 years.

Feeling like I belonged made me brave. 

 

+ + +

 

I used to be an extrovert. Then at some point I turned into more of an introvert as a defense mechanism. It was during my sophomore year of high school, when we moved to Michigan and I didn’t fit in anywhere. I felt like an awkward outcast, so I kept my mouth shut. I learned to be quiet so that I couldn’t reveal how little I knew, how truly clueless I was. Now I’d say I’m an introverted extrovert. I’m not always good at striking up conversations or thinking of things to say. I love alone time. I second-guess how my goofy yet dry sense of humor will be received. I hate trying to make small talk. 

But the bravery I felt helped to diminish my fear of talking to strangers. I found it easy to start conversations, to engage in playful banter, to take conversations to a deeper level. I found it easy to share random stories from my life, and I didn’t feel too guilty doing it. People made me feel like they wanted to know about me. And I realized I didn't feel like that much as an adult. Maybe people just assume there isn’t much to know about a 30-something pastor’s wife. But the people we met in Texas made me feel interesting, and I was interested in them too.

 

+ + +

Being in Houston was a simple adventure. We weren’t doing anything glamorous, just working on homes that were damaged by Hurricane Harvey when it hit in August 2017. It’s funny how most of the country has forgotten about Harvey, but there is still so much work to be done. We weren't even supposed to be there, we were planning to go to Haiti. But our change of plans was God's plan all along. He had work for us to do.

 

On the outside, most of the houses in Houston look beautiful. But the inside is a different story. And isn’t that a metaphor for the human condition—outside we look so put together, but no one knows how broken we are on the inside, or how empty. So many people left and never came back, we were told.

 

We talked about this, and looked for signs of Harvey’s aftermath as we walked the neighborhood where we worked. Dead patches in the St. Augustine grass and remnants of discarded debris told stories of what had been dumped on front lawns. So many things had been ruined by the water. Videos and photos of the devastation reminded us what had happened where we stood.

 

+ + +

The house where my team worked was owned by an older gentleman who our team fell in love with. The first day he described how much water had been standing in his home, and how it had been a year since anyone had worked on his house. I fought back tears. It changes things when you stand in a home and look at a person face-to-face. It gives a voice, a name, a human spirit to the things you see on the news.

I was so glad our team got to work in his house. We felt like a little family, spending the days talking and laughing in between the work. It didn’t feel like we really did much—we spent the whole time installing trim. But it was one important step in the work that would continue after we left. And eventually maybe his house will feel like home again.

 

+ + +

We also spent a lot of time praying—each morning before we started working we “prayed in” the day. We also prayed at lunch, and at the end of the day. For a little while each day after lunch we went on prayer walks through the neighborhood. We didn’t see many people in the middle of the day and the Texas heat, but we still prayed for them. We hoped that teams after us would be able to interact more with the residents, to tell them why we were there and what we were doing.

 

We did get to meet Mr. Stewart in another neighborhood 15 minutes away, where a team from our group was working. Mr. Stewart told us stories of growing up as an African American, and what people called him. He fed us mustard greens and corn bread. He had us write down our phone numbers so he could call and make sure we made it home alright. Mr. Stewart sits in his garage every day and waves at everyone who drives past. I couldn't help wishing I could spend a year sitting in his garage, hearing his stories.

+ + +

On our last full day in Texas, a local church hosted a dinner for our group, and whoever from the community wanted to come. We all shared stories from the week, ate delicious food, and celebrated the ways we had seen God working throughout the week. We celebrated the simplest of things, like changed plans and safety navigating the complex Texas highways. It's amazing how good it feels to do something for someone else, how good it feels to watch people come alive again, how good it feels to come alive yourself.

Leaving Texas, I realized I could do that—I could help people come alive, I could help people feel important. And that it really doesn't take any extraordinarily special skills. Just the ability to look someone in the eye, to ask them a question, to listen to their answer. The ability to make someone feel seen and heard, it was an ability I had forgotten I possessed, but I didn't want to forget again. It is an ability that can open the door to so many other things.

+ + +

There was once a girl who lived in Texas and loved it—the baking heat, the state pride, the trips to the rodeo, the people she knew, all of it. And she never dreamed of living anywhere else. But over time she moved to other places, places where she never ever thought she'd live. And truthfully, at first she hated it, and wanted to move back to Texas. But then she grew used to it, and eventually accepted it, and lived in six other places after leaving her home.

And then one day she found out, after all of the years and miles had passed, that she was going back. She was going back to Texas with a group of people she had met in those other places. People who reminded her of the goodness of God, even on the darkest of days. People who showed her the beauty to be found beyond the familiar. And she realized that it had all been a gift—the leaving, the heartache, the new friends in new cities—a gift that brought her to this moment. A gift that gave her purpose.

Life was never what she expected, but it had become beautiful indeed.

Dressember 2017: The Recap

My fourth--and perhaps best--year of Dressember has come to a conclusion, which of course requires a recap post.

I say "perhaps best" not just because this is the most I've been able to raise in any one campaign (currently $2,071.08), or because over half of my supporters were first-time donors to my campaign. I say it not just because this year the World Changers team was the biggest it has ever been or because together we raised a combined $8,616.87.

I say "perhaps best" because sometimes in the fight, in the struggle, in the asking, I learn something about myself too. And sometimes I need that lesson more than I realize. Because sometimes scars aren't physical, and because sometimes when we're fighting for others, we find healing without even knowing it.

I say "perhaps best" because this year, I felt more empowered than I have in a long time. And I am reminded of what I can do.

So many times I, and other women, are told what we cannot do. We are put in a box, told to be a certain way, denied the ability to use our gifting, kept sidelined when all we want is to soar. I didn't realize the pain I was carrying from this denial, or how it made me view myself, until Dressember 2017 was coming to a close.

For the past several years (Maybe many? I honestly don't know.), I have felt like I could do more, give more, but I have felt anything but empowered. I have approached so many doors, only to have them slam closed in my face. I have questioned what I am doing countless times, or if I'm even good at really anything. And through it all I have felt my soul shriveling.

Dressember was a much needed reminder, a drink of glorious truth, that reminded me that I can. I can flourish, I can succeed, I can be good at something. I can bring something to the table, I can be of use. It may be simple--putting on a piece of clothing and talking about slavery is something anyone can do. But regardless, it is something, it is a way to make a difference, and I will accept it with open arms.

From here I feel like the sky is the limit. I feel like I can keep flying, keep doing, keep fighting. And what I want most is to impart that empowerment to others. I want other women to know that they can. They can use their gifts, they can make a difference, they can have a voice, and they can change the world. And I would love to have you join me.

Do you know a woman who is fighting for something? A woman who wants to do more? A woman in whom you see great strength, talent, or gifting? Speak that into her life. Even if all you can offer are words, use those words to build her up. Heaven knows she needs it.

To everyone who has supported me this month, from the bottom of my heart, thank you so much. Through your support, you have empowered me more than you can know. And I needed it more than I ever have before. Through that empowerment and support, you have helped me raise more money to fight for the freedom, rights, and empowerment of others. For that, I thank you.

If you are interested in giving to Dressember, my campaign page will remain open throughout January. If you feel led to donate, you can do so here.

Dressember 2017: The Halfway Point

Dressember has been flying by this year! Since I haven't posted here during the actual challenge, I wanted to share some updates from the first half of the month.

The best thing about this year's challenge has been the team atmosphere. It has been so great to participate with others--adults and students--and to walk through this journey with each other. It is encouraging to share the highs and lows together, and to remember that regardless of how much money we raise, we are bringing awareness to new people in new places. And that is the ultimate goal of Dressember.

The Dressember World Changers team has grown exponentially. In its first year (2015) we had two members; last year we had four. This year our team has 21 members, all of whom are new to the team, except for me. As of publication, our team has raised over $3,600 from 73 different donations. If you are one of our donors, thank you so, so much for your contribution to Dressember!

On a personal level, this Dressember has felt both rewarding and challenging up to this point. I was able to speak to our youth group about Dressember, and loved seeing many of them sign up to participate. I started an artistic lettering challenge on social media to bring awareness and another level of participation to the campaign. And I've been blessed to have both new and repeat donors supporting my fundraiser.

It's always challenging to wear dresses all month, but this year I think my primary focus has been on other aspects, so my wardrobe has almost felt like an afterthought. I increased my fundraising goal to $2,000, which is an amount I have never raised in an individual campaign. Last year we got incredibly close, at $1,741. So that's an increase of only $259 over last year's total. I know it's reachable, but there is always a part of me that questions whether I'll make it. As I am writing this post, I have raised $889 so far. I would love to reach the $1,000 mark today, only $111 away, and I am hoping you will help me.

The biggest thing I have learned through participating in Dressember is that anyone can make a difference. When I first started doing Dressember in 2014, I was excited but uncertain. I didn't know if anyone would believe in the cause like I did, or if anyone would want to give their hard-earned money to it. At the end of that first campaign, thanks to the generosity of friends and family, I reached my goal. I felt so empowered, like I could take on anything and conquer it.

When you give to Dressember, your donation goes far beyond empowering me. It goes toward justice, toward freedom, toward the fight for human rights and dignity. When you give to Dressember, you can know deep down in your soul that you have contributed to something that is bigger than all of us. And when people ask what you are doing to make the world a better place, you can point to Dressember and say, "This. This is what I have done."

It truly takes a community to make a change. You are my community, and today I am asking you to stand with me to make a global change. Will you give what you can to help the fight for justice? Will you lend what you have to a war that is being waged in our own back yards? Will you speak where others have fallen silent? Will you give to Dressember?

Thank you, my friends, for your continual love and support. It does not go unnoticed or unappreciated. You inspire me and so many others in the ways you continually show up and care. To borrow from Dr. Seuss, "To the world you may be one person, but to me, you mean the world."

Donate to my Dressember Fundraiser

Dressember 2017: My Story

When I first heard about Dressember, I knew I had to be involved. Fighting to end slavery and promote human dignity in a simple, yet meaningful way was something I could support. It was something I could do in the midst of an issue that can feel insurmountable. After all, speaking out wasn't a new concept for me.

I hated high school for lots of reasons, one being the times I found myself trapped in situations I couldn't escape. I experienced severe anxiety and powerlessness under the hands and voices of a couple of classmates. Classmates who were bigger and stronger than me, who would make obscene comments about my body, touch me inappropriately, or tell me that they were going to rape me. You can't get away when you have to stay in school, when they're in the classroom sitting next to you, and when your teacher doesn't notice. Meanwhile your mind tries to make sense of it all, telling you it's somehow okay, somehow not as bad as it seems.

Those days were dark. I felt cheap, broken, and invisible to the rest of the world. When I finally worked up the courage to tell my parents, I could barely put to words what had happened. My mind still tried to make it okay, excusable, normal. We reported the physical incidents to authorities, went to court, went home, and that was pretty much it. It took time for me to understand and come to a place where I could declare to myself that it wasn't okay, and that I wouldn't stand for that kind of treatment again. But in my teenage mind, I felt anything but powerful.

However, after it was all over, I did feel a measure of pride. Pride in myself, that I was able to do something. That I was able to tell, and that people believed me. Pride that I could walk into that courtroom, hear the plea and verdict, and know that what happened really wasn't okay, excusable, normal. Pride at the knowledge that maybe another girl wouldn't experience what I had experienced if this behavior was stopped.

It's been a long time since high school. In some ways, I still carry the scars, and the memories will never leave. But today I feel not only a measure of pride, but also power. Power that enables me to rise above that experience and use it to fight for other girls. They're girls I'll probably never meet, never see their faces, or know their stories. But that's okay, because they could be any one of us. Evil preys on all people without regard for who they are, where they live, what they do, or how they dress. That's why those of us who can speak up, must. We have to raise a voice for those who have been silenced.

As we move into another Dressember, I am grateful for yet another opportunity to use my voice for good. An opportunity to share my story, and speak up for those whose dignity has been stolen. An opportunity to take my experience, and see it redeemed for good. An opportunity to encourage others to come with what they have--whether it's one dress in their closet or $1 in their wallet--and use it to change the world.

So yet again this year I'm asking you, dear reader, will you join me? Will you stand with me? Will you speak alongside me? Will you do what you can for girls like me? If there's one thing I know it's this: none of us can do it alone. But together, we can go farther than we ever dreamed possible, and do more than we ever thought probable.

It's almost Dressember 2017. Let's do this.

Visit my Dressember fundraising page.

Dressember 2017: Art Giveaway

I am excited to tell you about a new initiative I am doing for Dressember 2017! It's called #LetterForDressember, and it's an art challenge + art giveaway. If you want to participate in the challenge, creatively letter each day's prompt and share it on social media using the hashtag. I am also giving away my challenge artwork to those who donate to my Dressember page. Keep reading to find out how to receive a piece of my lettering art.

Here's how it works:

  >   Anyone who donates $15 or more to my Dressember campaign is eligible* to receive a piece of lettering art. Donors are eligible to receive one piece of lettering art for each $15+ donation made to my campaign. So if you snag one piece of art, but see another one you want later, you can always get two!

  >   Each day I will post a new piece of art on my Instagram account, @elm_creative. The first person to comment "claimed" has 24 hours to make their $15+ donation to my campaign. If someone has already commented, comment "next" to be the next in line. If the first person doesn't donate within 24 hours, the next person in line will be able to claim the art, and so on. I'll reach out to you if you're next in line!

  >   If you donate $15+ ahead of time, comment "claimed" first and you will be sent the lettering art as soon as possible.*

  >   If no one claims a piece of art within 24 hours, I will share the art on Facebook for someone to claim there. The art will also still be available on Instagram, so I will go by the time the first "claimed" comment is posted.

  >   If art pieces remain as of January 1, I will attempt to distribute them to donors.*

  >   All donations of $30 or more are eligible for a piece of custom lettering art. If you would like a custom piece, please contact me after making your donation with the word/quote you would like lettered. Custom pieces must be 5x8" or smaller.

* I will need to receive each donor's address in order to send the lettering art.

If you have a question, please contact me! I am so excited to combine my love for lettering with my passion for Dressember. And I can't wait to share what I create with you!

Today: A Message to the Church

It’s no surprise that our world is broken, it has been for a very long time. Injustice, racism, hatred, and violence, are nothing new. Humanity has done a great job of hurting itself for centuries. But in these more recent days, the blatant hatred and discord has made this reality even more obvious. I have witnessed more and more people coming forward to speak out against the wrongs, to share their experiences. And while each testimony of experienced racism, hatred, and violence sickens and pains me, I am thankful for those who are willing to raise their voices against the wrong. Oh how this world needs an antidote to itself!

The good news is that we have one, and it is more than time for the Church to rise up and share it! It is time for us to be more vocal than we have been in recent generations, to speak truth, not softly in our pulpits and homes, but loudly in the streets. Because the truth is, there will be other loud voices, speaking hatred and discord, speaking evil to our world. But we must ring out louder, with actions and words of truth and love.

Church, now is not the time to be silent. Now is not the time to let others do the work for us. Now is not the time to appeal to the masses, to bow to popular culture and the whims of the world. Now is the time for Christ to be proclaimed in word and in deed to the watching world that is so desperate for the undiluted Gospel. These are the days that we have been preparing for every time we sat through a sermon, memorized a verse, or practiced our Gospel methods. The time is now.

I implore you, if you claim to follow Jesus, if you call yourself a Christian, do not remain silent. When you see injustice, fight it. When you witness hate, confront it with Him who calls Himself Love. When you hear lies, speak the Truth with boldness. Dust off your Bible and read it with earnest. Get on your knees and pray for your communities, this country, and the world. There is only one Antidote for this world, and you know Him by name.

Church, do not turn on yourself, do not tear yourself down. Do not look to condemn those among you who are “too liberal” or “too conservative,” who voted “wrong.” The Church is the bride of Christ and He loves it dearly. Do not think you can spread hatred of the Church and not anger God. In all times and all ways, the Church must pursue unity. It is a body, one that cannot function without all parts working together in harmony. We must fight for unity.

Church, you are the hands and feet of Jesus. You do not exist to sit comfortably in your pew with your coffee and a side of condescension. You do not exist to stay in a bubble with those whose views align with yours. And above all, you do not exist to live a safe and prosperous life. In this world, you will have trials. But you are called to face the trials, to make disciples, to stand apart, and to do the will of the Father. I cannot wait to see what God does through willing and available hearts.

Dressember 2016 Kick-Off + Giveaways

Dressember 2016 kicks off in just two days! I can't believe it's almost here. As I look to this next month, I am excited for what's ahead, and I'm hopeful that many of you will help me make this Dressember a great one.

Dressember happens because of generosity. Because people believe in a cause and give what they can to make it happen. As I'm typing this post, Dressember donors have already given a combined $70,000 to the cause. That's 70k to fight human trafficking, to restore the lives of victims, and to prosecute those who make a living on exploiting the powerless.

I know during this time of year, money can be tight. But I also know that this season encourages us to be generous with what we have. It doesn't take a lot to make a difference. You don't have to give the largest amount of money to take a stand. Any amount you give goes toward the ongoing work of anti-slavery organizations International Justice Mission and A21. No amount is too small to be a voice for those who have none.

I am asking for your help to kick off Dressember 2016 well. Help me get started on the right foot as we head into the month of December. And to say thank-you for your generosity, I have some special giveaways. (All I need is your address so I can send your thank-you item on its way!)

Donate $30 or more to my Dressember campaign on Giving Tuesday (November 29, 2016) and I will send you one of my mini splatter paint journals! I have eight of these cuties to give away, and they make a great little gift for the journaler or artist in your life.

 
Each one-of-a-kind, hand painted, 3.5 x 5.5" Moleskine journal is filled with 64 pages of blank paper with 16 perforated sheets at the back. Each features a flexible navy, black, or grey cardboard cover and back pocket for lose papers. The front with be adorned with a fun splatter paint design in a surprise color! The small size fits easily into a pocket, purse, or backpack and is easy to take on-the-go.

Donate $20 or more to my Dressember campaign during the first week of Dressember (December 1-7, 2016) and I will send you a piece of my "famous" brush lettering artwork! This has been a beloved thank-you item in the past and once again I will be creating these original works of art for my donors. Each quote is selected and hand-painted by me, so you will be receiving an original piece, not a print.

Be one of the first 10 donors to give $10 or more to my Dressember campaign and you will receive a limited-edition thank-you card featuring one of the images from my #DressemberCollection of photographs. These images are also available for purchase, with proceeds going to Dressember. Please contact me directly if you are interested.

I will be sharing my Dressember Collection on my Instagram account throughout the campaign. My hope is that the images will cause viewers to reflect on the differences between young people who are free, and young people who are not free. All are deserving of the best life possible--full of dignity, vibrancy, and autonomy--and that is something worth fighting for.

Please consider what you can give to my Dressember campaign. Simply click the link below to donate. Thank you for your consideration and support. Let's do this!

Donate now

5 Things You Should Know About Dressember

In a couple of months I will be participating for a third year in Dressember, a campaign that leverages fashion and creativity to fight human trafficking. As I'm getting ready to participate this year, I want to make sure you all know what this whole Dressember thing is all about. That's why I'm writing this post on five things you should know about the campaign.

1. It's about more than dresses.

Yes, Dressember involves wearing dresses throughout the month of December, but it's about so much more than that. It's a way to declare dignity and worth for the estimated 45 million people trapped in modern-day slavery. It's a way to raise awareness and funds for an issue that many of us too easily forget about. It's a way for the average person to make a difference in a global, billion-dollar industry affecting the lives of men, women, and children.

2. It benefits the work of some great organizations.

Every donatation to Dressember goes toward the work of two anti-slavery organizations, International Justice Mission and A21. Check out their websites to learn more about the work they do, and exactly what your donation will help fund. You can also follow them on social media to get the latest updates on their ongoing work. In addition, donations to Dressember are tax-deductible within the U.S.

3. It's not as difficult as it sounds.

Wearing a dress every day in December can sound difficult. But the truth is, the "sacrifice" of wearing a dress is nothing compared to what victims of human trafficking face on a daily basis. (Read stories of victims, survivors, and the work of IJM.)

Rather than focus on the parts that seem difficult, I encourage other participants to think creatively about what they can do to stay warm and still participate. The more you challenge yourself, the more solutions you'll be able to find. A simple solution to help you participate can help lead to bigger solutions for victims of slavery.

4. Men can participate too.

I love seeing posts from different Dressember participants on Instagram--the cause brings together a great community of women and men who find creative ways to participate. A quick browse through the hashtag #DressemberMen on Instagram will give you a glimpse into how men can join the cause. Some wear bow ties every day of the month, others create and sell art, and others pose with signs that say "Real men don't buy girls."

5. It's easy to join.

Every year I have more friends talk to me about participating and I love that! It's a simple process to join the cause and participate in Dressember. If you don't want to raise money, you can participate by wearing dresses (or ties for the men) and sharing the cause with your friends face-to-face or on social media. You can direct them to an individual page if they want to donate, or to dressember.org/give.

If you want to raise money, you can follow this link and click on the "Become an Advocate" button, then click "As an Individual." The process to set up your page is quick and simple and the site will walk you through it step by step. After you've set that up, if you want, you can join the team I created, called World Changers. Just go to the team page and click the "Join Team" button.

If you decide to participate, however that looks for you, please let me know! I would love to support you and maybe come up with some creative ways for us to raise awareness together.

{Check out more of my posts on Dressember here.}

Dressember: Clarisa's Story

Her Innocence Made Her an Easy Target

Clarisa* was rescued from sexual exploitation in one of IJM’s first-ever cases in the Dominican Republic. The team first met her in October 2014, and she shared how she had been assaulted by one man despite her resistance—and then how he sold her to another man, who assaulted her again. Both suspects threatened to hurt Clarisa or her family if she dared to tell anyone.

Clarisa is one of nine siblings, raised in a poor and very dangerous neighborhood in Santo Domingo, the capital city. So many girls are left vulnerable to abuse here, but Clarisa even more so. She’s 14 but, due to a developmental disability, Clarisa experiences the world much like a 6-year-old does.

Clarisa’s innocence made her easy prey for a man who targeted children in this slum. This man cornered her and assaulted her—perhaps many times over the course of a year—and then allegedly sold her to a friend. IJM later learned he has a reputation for pimping young girls, and we have no idea what other plans he was making to profit from Clarisa’s abuse.

Her mother, Alma,* was deeply hurt and confused as she watched her sweet, helpful daughter become angry and aloof. Clarisa would disappear for days at a time out of fear, and Alma had no idea why. When she discovered the horrifying reason, Alma ran to authorities, desperate for help.

IJM partnered with local anti-trafficking police to arrest these abusers just days later. This is certainly a victory—but the case is not over yet.

The days immediately following a rescue can be some of the most dangerous for a girl like Clarisa. If released on bail, these dangerous men could have easily found Clarisa’s family and exacted revenge. IJM worked with police for 48 hectic hours to gather the evidence needed to keep them in custody, where they remain today. (Read more about the arrest here.)

A New Beginning

For the first time in her life, Clarisa is going to school and getting the medical care she needs. She celebrated her birthday this summer surrounded by the staff at an aftercare home as well as her mother and an IJM social worker.

“Not only was Clarisa rescued, but her mother is now at peace,” explains IJM’s casework director Jessica, “Though it is painful for her to say goodbye at the center, she encourages her daughter that it is in her best interest that she is there healing. When Clarisa shared with us what she is learning and doing, her mother was smiling proudly.”

The story will continue, but each visit with Clarisa brings hope.

Jessica says of a recent visit, “When we visited Clarisa this week, she still tells us spontaneous
stories, but now these stories are about how she is doing in school. She showed us her notebook and the homework she has done, all with a beautiful smile on her face.”
*Survivors' names are changed for their protection.

Visit my Dressember page

The content of this blog post was provided by the Dressember Foundation.

Dressember: Anna's Story

Throughout her childhood, Anna had seen a great deal of poverty and sickness in Eastern Europe.

The future was never certain, but instead of allowing the constant struggle to numb her from a young age, the pain she saw actually inspired her to the point where she dreamed of becoming a nurse. As a result of her formative years, she wanted nothing more than to grow up and be able to soothe the pain of others.

And so, one day, when her cousin came to visit, Anna sat down and shared this vision to make a difference and help those in need.  After listening to Anna’s aspirations, her beloved older cousin encouraged her to pursue her dreams and suggested that she should move to Greece to study. She convinced Anna that there were a lot more career opportunities in Greece, compared to her home country.

Anna wasn't aware of it, but her father and uncle were in the next room listening to the plans for the future take place. They eventually interrupted the conversation and wholeheartedly encouraged her to go as well.

Surprised, but also overjoyed at their support, Anna, accompanied by her cousin, prepared to travel to Greece for study. She had no way of knowing she was walking into a trap set up by people she thought she could trust.

Upon arriving in Greece, her cousin told her that she owed her €6,000 for the travel arrangements and that Anna was to be put to work as a sex slave to pay off her debt. Feeling betrayed and confused, Anna refused and fought as hard as she could to escape. As a number of dark shadows approached her, she kicked and screamed but no one heard her cries.

The dream she had of helping people and alleviating their pain was quickly being replaced by an inconceivable nightmare. She was beaten, chained to a bed and raped. It quickly became clear to her that the life she came to Greece for was far from the reality she had just stepped into.  

There was no escape from the 40-50 clients she was forced to serve each day. Emptied of the fight within her, Anna gave in to the horror of her new life and was held as a slave for two years. 

However, on a day like any other, she was rescued in a police raid and brought to the A21 shelter. She was immediately given access to medical care, but the workers at the shelter knew that the psychological trauma was going to take a lot longer to heal.  

Three years later, after receiving help and support in the A21 safe house and transition home, Anna’s passion to make a difference in the world was reignited. With assistance, she applied and was accepted into nursing school in her home country. She just finished up her third semester, and is finally living out her dream! 

We are so proud of Anna! Together, we are seeing tragedy turned to triumph.

Donate now

The content of this blog post was provided by the Dressember Foundation. 

Dressember: Charina's Story

"Now we can help other girls."

Charina* is one of the first young women to stand and walk to the front of the room to sign her name to the bill of rights. She is proud of the declarations she and the other girls have written together: I have the right to be loved. I have the right to live peacefully. I have the right to my own body. I have the right to express my feelings. 

Charina, 20, is participating in a meeting with the Reintegration Support Network, a support group for trafficking survivors. The network is an innovative partnership between IJM Cebu and the local government. Government social workers, staff from IJM and volunteers from the community provide medical and psychosocial support. The young women received trauma-focused care in aftercare shelters, and they have now returned to their home communities. The support network offers them a chance to keep learning about topics that promote psychosocial well-being and healthy living.

Charina was one of two girls rescued in IJM’s first undercover operation in 2007. IJM investigators had been building a case against the pimp, who was notorious for selling young girls to men for sex. Charina was only 15 years old, but she looked even younger. The pimp exploited her youthful looks, selling her for sex to the men who were willing to pay a higher price for younger girls to abuse.

Charina was all too familiar with the routine on the streets. Pimps sold the younger girls and women; prostitutes stood on corners of the street or waited by the pier for customers to drive by to negotiate a price. So Charina thought it was just another night when a pimp told her that she would go to a hotel along with a couple other girls for a private party.

But it was not just another night: The men negotiating with the pimp were undercover police. They were not interested in abusing Charina; they were there to free her.

At first Charina was confused. IJM aftercare staff was on the scene to accompany Charina and the other girls and women to the police station. The IJM social workers explained what was happening and reassured the girls that they were not in trouble.  Charina and two of the girls were taken to an aftercare shelter, where they received crisis care and counseling.

But after years of trauma and learning to survive on her own, building trust was extremely difficult.

After her father died when she was a young girl, Charina had been sent to live with her grandmother. Aside from the abusive and angry visits from Charina’s mother, the home was warm and loving – but very poor. Although Charina’s grandmother sold small rice cakes, a popular Filipino snack food, there was never enough.

After completing fourth grade, Charina dropped out of school. Eager for acceptance and desperate for an escape from the hardship that had defined her young life, Charina started hanging out with a rough crowd. These new friends introduced her to drugs, and before long her own mother decided it was time for Charina to start earning some money. Charina was 13 years old when she was first sold for sex. Two years later, she became pregnant and endured a painful miscarriage.

When she was rescued, Charina was three months pregnant, struggling with drug addiction and very hesitant to receive support from IJM social workers. She saw the rules of the aftercare shelter as a threat to the independence she had been forced to learn at such a young age. She resisted the counselors and attempted to run away.

Despite Charina’s initial resistance, IJM staff remained determined to connect Charina with the resources and services she needed. “We knew we did not want to give up,” says IJM Director of Aftercare Mae Sampani.

IJM was able to place Charina in a detox center, where she received the help she needed to overcome drug addiction. During that time, the team faithfully visited her. They began to see Charina transform. Charina started to believe that someone actually cared for her.

Charina endured many challenges during that time. She had to move to several different aftercare homes. After a fire burned one of the shelters to the ground, Charina moved back to her home community. It was earlier than ideal, but her IJM social worker walked closely with her during the ordeal. After many months of consistent support, Charina started to trust. She overcame her substance abuse and started to rebuild relationships. Charina started to hope.

IJM seeks to provide holistic restoration for trafficking survivors.  Social workers help the young women heal by offering practical resources and providing trauma-focused counseling. But there is not one treatment or time line that works for everyone. The social workers make a long-term commitment to each survivor who participates in IJM’s aftercare program, committing to walk the difficult road together.

The men who tried to sell Charina in 2007 were charged under the Philippines’ anti-trafficking law. The trial progressed slowly, illustrating the delays and obstacles that have been endemic to the system—but are slowly starting to change. IJM lawyers have supported the case, persevering through numerous postponed or canceled hearings.

Charina courageously chose to testify in court against the suspects. She is eager to see justice in her case because she knows she is worth it. The trial finally ended in June 2014 with convictions against the traffickers.

Today, Charina is a strong young mother, determined to give her son the opportunities she should have had herself. With help from her counselors, Charina is making plans to return to school or receive specific vocational training. Charina says she will give anything in her power to protect her son.

At a Reintegration Support Network meeting, Charina stood before the group of other trafficking survivors and counselors. She described how much her life has changed since her rescue. “I am happy and thankful for the positive changes in my life,” she said confidently. “If I was not rescued, I would still be standing over there,” she said, pointing in the direction of the pier where she had once been routinely sold and exploited. Charina described how she has learned to respect others and respect herself. She looked around the room of fellow survivors and said, “Now we can help other girls.”
*Survivors' names are changed for their protection.

Donate now

The content of this blog post was provided by the Dressember Foundation. 

Dressember: Survivors of Sex Trafficking Share What it Means to be Beautiful

Every twenty-something woman has ideas on what it means to be beautiful. A small group of young women gathered in Mumbai, India take turns musing, each one wearing a different palate of bright colors.

“Even if I put on make-up but am not pretty inside, it’s a waste of make-up!” exclaims Saba*, as she holds a corner of her green scarf in her hand and waves it as she speaks. “Women can be beautiful with make-up and without; inner beauty is also important.”

Two other young women in the group explain how they view this inner beauty. “I should keep good feelings for others,” one says; another adds, “If God helped us, blessed us, then inner beauty is to help others.”

These simple statements about finding beauty by helping others are remarkable. Less than two months ago, these four women were in desperate need of help themselves: They were trapped inside a brothel in Asia’s largest red-light district.

Since they were rescued, IJM social workers have been helping them redefine and reclaim who they are and what they want. This is the beginning of freedom.

Traffickers Target The Poor

The four young women were trafficked to Mumbai from different places and by different people, but their stories start with alarming similarity.

In Bangalore, Amal* had run away from her abusive husband after he beat her for having three miscarriages, then met a man who offered her a good job to help her restart her life. In Bangladesh, Saba had followed a promise of work as a domestic helper, hoping to earn money to send back to her family, including a toddler son.

Traffickers prey on impoverished girls without a support network—they know no one will come looking, and they have no reason to fear the law coming after them.

Inescapable Violence  

The brothel where these young women were sold is in a building notorious for holding minors and trafficked women. IJM has helped Mumbai Police conduct five rescue operations here over the past four years.

New girls were beaten by the brothel owners or starved until they “consented” to see a customer.  The men start arriving around 4 or 5 in the evening, and the violence continues until 2 or 3 in the morning. Customers pay less than $4 for a turn with a girl.

On the night of rescue, one woman said, “The last three months I was in the brothel without seeing the sun or being outside, but somehow I was surviving.”

(Read more about the harrowing rescue operation that set them free from this nightmare.) 

How IJM Provides Care From The Start—And Keeps Going    

“This group of girls has an exceptional spirit. I sensed it from the night of their rescue,” says IJM trauma counselor Shalini Newbigging. She was there to provide crisis counseling, and she has continued to walk with the survivors since.

The young women settled into a private aftercare home in Mumbai as soon as they finished giving statements to the police that may be used in a criminal case against the four brothel keepers arrested that night. Though they woke up free the very next day, learning how to live free will take time.

IJM works closely with aftercare home staff to help survivors on this journey of freedom. Social workers assess each survivor’s unique needs, then create individualized treatment plans to address her physical, emotional, psychological and long-term vocational goals. Many of the aftercare homes provide education or job-training classes, and IJM often augments those services by hiring tutors or sponsoring seminars or health clinics that will benefit all of the girls in a home.

Certified counselors like Shalini provide invaluable services by offering one-on-one counseling to survivors, and by training staff in the homes and counselors from third-party agencies on how to provide effective trauma counseling. In one government home, there is just one counselor for 100 clients—a ratio that plainly shows how providers are often grossly under-resourced.

The Survivors Are Healing—And Dreaming—Thanks To New Role Models   

Within a week of arriving at the aftercare home, most of the survivors had enrolled in Hindi and English lessons. They have now started skills-training, learning to stitch by hand and sew on a machine. Several women want to return home to start a tailoring shop or get a job at a garment factory. A couple of the women are earning income right now, helping make key chains and jewelry that are the sold locally. 

Saba says she wants to learn how to cut hair and apply make-up so she can work at a beauty parlor. She says she wants to make women beautiful. Shalini and the other social workers will continue to support Saba and the others, even as they move to new aftercare homes closer to their families in the coming months.

When asked what she wants to become, Saba lights up. She covers her broad smile with a corner of her green dupatta, the long scarf she wears over her shoulders like shawl. Then she says with a rush of excitement, “I want to be like Shalini didi, then maybe I can help other girls.”

In less than two months, Shalini has become didi—older sister—and a role model who shows how helping others can be beautiful.
*Survivors' names have been changed.

Donate now

You can find out more about IJM's work here.

The content of this blog post was provided by the Dressember Foundation. 

Human Rights Day + Dressember Q & A

Today is Human Rights Day, which commemorates the day in 1948 that the UN General Assembly adopted the Universal Declaration of Human Rights. If you read the declaration, you will find several articles that fit perfectly with the mission of Dressember.

Article one states,

All human beings are born free and equal in dignity and rights. They are endowed with reason and conscience and should act towards one another in a spirit of brotherhood.

 And article four states,

No one shall be held in slavery or servitude; slavery and the slave trade shall be prohibited in all their forms.

Sadly, these articles are completely disregarded by the illegal human trafficking industry. But the good news is that organizations like IJM and A21 are working to fight for the dignity and freedom of those exploited by this industry. By donating to Dressember, you are helping these organizations in their work of freedom.

Dressember definitely generates a lot of questions, and it's understandable! The whole concept can seem really strange, wearing dresses in one of the coldest months of the year. I think people are curious, and some ask questions while others may not even know where to start. And that is what this blog post is for!

I want to tackle some of the most commonly asked questions from my perspective--the view of an advocate, living in freedom, who is participating for the second year in a row. If you don't see your question, please leave it in the comments or tweet it to me @MrsEliseMance! I would love to answer whatever you may want to know about Dressember!

What is Dressember?

I like this quote from the Dressember Foundation's website; I think it says it best:

Dressember is a collaborative movement leveraging fashion and creativity to restore dignity to all women. Dressember uses fashion to advocate for women who've been exploited for their femininity. As women take on the creative challenge of wearing a dress for the 31 days of December, they are advocating for the inherent dignity of all women. Dressember exists to inspire and empower a global community of like-minded women who are locking arms to face one of the greatest injustices of our time. The heart of Dressember is freedom--that every woman has the right to live a vibrant and autonomous life.

Why are you participating in Dressember?

After participating last year, I knew I had to do it again. It's like a basketball game--I want to get in there and participate rather than simply sit on the bench and watch. Plus after participating last year, and meeting my goal by December 31, I felt empowered to continue advocating.

I'm also participating because it is something I can do to help change the world for people trapped in a system they can't escape on their own. It's what I would want someone to do for me if I were in that situation. It's small, it's not much, but it is something. When you combine what you can give with what others can give, you can make a movement bigger than any one person.

Do you have 31 different dresses? / Do you have to have a lot of dresses to participate?

Nope. Well, honestly I'm not sure exactly how many dresses I have, but I'm not wearing 31 different dresses this month. I'm sticking with about 13 different dresses and cycling through them as my donors pick out which ones I'll wear. But you don't even need that many to participate. Some ladies challenge themselves to wear one dress all month long. Even if you have just a few, you can get creative and style them differently to create new looks.

Are you tired of wearing a dress every day? / Isn't it hard to wear a dress every day?

By the end of Dressember last year, my creativity was running dry. But really, I enjoy the challenge of wearing a dress every day. For me it's fun to style new looks and to embrace the concept that this is bigger than me liking or not liking dresses. So I would say no, it's not hard to wear a dress every day.

Aren't you cold wearing a dress in December?

It depends on the weather, but if it's frigid, I'm cold in whatever I'm wearing, unless I'm wrapped up in a zillion layers head to toe. So a dress isn't really very different. I layer up with leggings, sweaters, scarves, and wool socks, and keep nice and warm all month long. Plus this winter has been really mild so far; no complaints here!

Why should I donate?

The big thing is deciding for yourself why you want to donate. Everyone has a different story, different things speak to us, and that's what makes Dressember beautiful. For some, they might give because of a past experience that compels them to help. Others may give because they are thankful for what they have and want to give back. Still others may simply want to make a difference in the world.

Whatever your reason, it's a good reason. The goal should be to do what you can with what you have. I personally love the feeling of rallying with friends and strangers around a great cause. It's so awesome to partner with others to accomplish something bigger than all of us.

How do I donate to Dressember? / Does Dressember accept PayPal? / Are donation amounts pre-selected or can I choose what I donate?

Donating to Dressember is simple. If you click the donate button on my page, you will arrive on the secure donation page. From there you can select any amount you wish to give. There are buttons for pre-set amounts, but you can also manually enter any amount you wish. You also have the option to give a one-time gift or monthly. After that, all you have to do is fill in your information.

As of 2017, Dressember does accept payments via PayPal. You can also donate using a credit card. If you don't have a card or PayPal, talk to me and I can help you get your donation in.

Dressember: A Survivor's Story

 

She Thought She'd Have a Better Life

Nina* and her boyfriend traveled to Greece with Nina’s child to find work and financial support. As unemployment in Bulgaria is so high, they thought they would have a better chance of finding work in Greece.

Soon after arriving in Greece, Nina’s boyfriend forced her into prostitution, threatening her physical well-being and the well being of her child if she did not comply. Nina was arrested by the police for prostitution, and after hearing her story, they referred her to The A21 Campaign (Greece’s Crisis Care Shelter). 

Nina was pregnant when she came into A21 care. She came back to Bulgaria with her child and moved into the A21 Transition Home in Sofia. There, our social workers cared for her throughout her pregnancy, and she gave birth to a healthy child. Once the baby was two months old, A21 moved Nina into her own apartment. She was fully financially supported by A21 for a number of months. 

Once the social workers discovered Nina could knit, A21 started a small business selling her knitted scarves. We now have six women knitting scarves, and Nina has been promoted to part-time supervisor, overseeing the quality of the product and teaching new women to knit. Nina is now on her way to financial independence. 

Finding work for women with children is incredibly important in Bulgaria, as child-care normally does not start until a child is two years old. For a single woman with a child who cannot return to her family or hometown, this means that she is basically without an income until her child is two years old. This Scarf Company will provide work for many women who would otherwise live fully dependent on an NGO or on the poverty line (government benefits are minimal).
*Survivors' names and photos are changed for their protection.
 
Sharing stories like these are important. It's important for us to remember that not everyone has life experiences like ours. It's important to know that we can help and give more. It's important to know what donations to Dressember can do. 

Dressember is about a lot more than dresses. It's about leveraging what we have, to do what we can, to change the world for the 92 million people living in slavery today. It's about realizing that if we live and work in America, we're more wealthy than billions of others across the globe. It's about giving out of our wealth to help those who have nothing, not even their own lives.

Stories like these reaffirm why I choose to participate in Dressember, why I spend the month advocating, why I join with others in doing what I can with what I have. Because in my little corner of the internet, I have a voice, I have a few dollars, I have talents, and I have time. And I can give of all those things to help someone else.

Will you consider doing what you can with what you have? Will you help us fight for freedom and dignity for those trapped in slavery? Will you donate to Dressember? Will you tell your friends about the campaign by sharing this link? https://support.dressemberfoundation.org/elisemance

Donate now

You can read more about A21's work here.

The content of this blog post was provided by the Dressember Foundation.

Dressember + Art Giveaway

Happy day four of Dressember! As of hitting publish, we have joined forces to raise $735 for my campaign and over $230,000 total! That's enough to fund over 50 rescue operations, which on average cost $4,500. I am so thankful to be part of this journey and to have so many wonderful donors joining me.

Before Dressember began, donors gave $475 to my campaign. On the first day of Dressember, which was also Giving Tuesday, I hosted a surprise giveaway and donors gave $160. Since then, $100 was donated yesterday, pushing us over one third of the way to the goal.

As we move into the weekend, I want to help keep this momentum going, especially since I doubled my goal from last year and I would love to meet it. But that means I'm going to need lots of help from you!

So this weekend I'm hosting an art giveaway! For Friday through Sunday only (December 4-6), all donors to my Dressember campaign will receive a piece of art, chosen and hand-lettered by me. This will be an original piece, not a print, and also a surprise as you don't know what you'll get until it shows up!

I'm not setting a donation requirement, simply asking that you consider what you can give to this great cause. All I will need from you is an address if you're not someone I see on a regular basis. If an address isn't provided, I won't be able to get you your art.

This is just one simple way I can say thank you for your gift to Dressember. All donations are tax deductible within the United States and secure. You can choose to make a one-time donation or a monthly gift. You can also choose to donate in memory of someone, or in someone's honor. If you donate in honor of someone, I will send you a card that you can give to your honoree, letting them know about the donation.

Also, if you do donate $20 or more to my campaign, you have sponsored a dress and get to choose one for me to wear from those listed on this page. This is a fun way to get involved with the creative process of Dressember by choosing what I'll wear. If you have sponsored a dress but haven't selected yours yet, please send me your selection, otherwise I will choose one for you.

Donate now

If you have questions about Dressember, please ask! You can also check out my Dressember page on this blog or my Dressember campaign page for more details. If you don't see the answer to your question, leave it below in the comments or contact me and we can chat!

Check out more of my art and photos of my Dressember styles on Instagram @MrsEliseMance.

Dressember + Giving Tuesday

After Black Friday, Small Business Saturday and Cyber Monday, comes Giving Tuesday, a global day dedicated to giving back. It also happens to fall on December 1, the first day of Dressember. Because of that, I'm merging my Dressember campaign with Giving Tuesday for a sweet little deal!

For Giving Tuesday, I'm asking you to donate to my Dressember campaign as a way to give back to a very worthy cause. Dressember partners with International Justice Mission and A21 to fight human trafficking--both working to fight injustice and care for victims.

To everyone who gives to my campaign on December 1, I will send a surprise gift! All I need is for you to provide your mailing address so I can send it to you. This is a great way to get involved in Giving Tuesday, feel great about making a donation to a worthy cause, and receive a reminder of your generous gift!

Please consider giving and helping get Dressember going with a great start! If you're looking for more information on the campaign and my participation, check out the Dressember page on this blog, or visit my official Dressember campaign page. I have some different incentives going on and send special updates to all my donors!

Donate now!

I'd love to connect with you if you have more questions about Dressember or if you're participating as well! Please leave a comment below or contact me.

Dressember + Periscope: Bringing the Campaign to Life

After participating in Dressember last year, I've been challenging myself to come up with new and creative ways to promote the campaign, raise awareness, and share the process with all of you! To help bring my Dressember challenge to life, I'm going to be sharing it on Periscope!

 
If you've never heard of or used Periscope, it's a live video streaming app. That means you can watch live videos of me gearing up for and participating in Dressember. All my videos will remain on Periscope for 24 hours before disappearing, so they're only available for a limited time.

If you already have or decide to download the Periscope app, you can follow me there @MrsEliseMance. If not, you can also watch online at https://www.periscope.tv/MrsEliseMance. All my videos will automatically post to Twitter as well, so you'll know when I'm live and can get a direct link to the video I'm shooting.

Another new feature I've added this year is called "Support a Dress." When you donate $30 or more to my Dressember campaign, you have sponsored a dress.

As a sponsor, you get to pick out a dress for me to wear from my dress catalog (it's toward the bottom of the linked page). When I wear your sponsored dress, I'll send you a photo and give you a shoutout on social media. I think this will be a fun way you can participate by choosing what I'll wear!

For those who choose to donate anonymously or don't select a dress, I will select one for you and recognize you when I wear it.

I hope these initiatives make the whole process more interactive and fun while bringing awareness to a cause that is near to my heart. If you have any questions about this post or Dressember, please leave a comment below or contact me.