Light in the Darkness

Do you ever feel overwhelmed by all of the things outside of your control? Like the weight of them will crush you under anxiety, fear, and despair? You want to hold on, to be strong, but the injustice and the hurt is like a gaping wound that drains your life away?

Maybe this sounds severe, and admittedly it is hard to put these feelings into words. But at times the weight of that which is unknown and painful is so heavy, it can be hard to see anything else. Like the dizzying after-effects of a slap in the face, we can be blinded to all else, lost inside our clouded sense of reality.

I've been here before. It feels like teetering on the edge of a precipice with nothing to hold onto. You know you are going to be pushed in, but you don't know what's waiting at the bottom. You're afraid of falling, of what it will mean. You're afraid of what will happen when you land, of all the pieces that will break apart. You are afraid of all that you cannot control.

I think Satan likes it here. On this edge of uncertainty he can convince me of many things, that I have much to fear because only terrible things lie ahead. Because all I can see is the chasm, he has me right where he wants me: in a place where fear of "what if" keeps me blind to "what is." In this place he can fill my head with reminders of past pain, and the thought that what is coming could be worse, much worse.

It is easy to stay here, it really takes no effort. All I have to do is stay immersed in the fear, distracted by hypotheticals, and anxious that I cannot control the outcome. It is uncomfortable, but easy. With me distracted by fear, Satan can chip away at many other things, filling my head with anger, doubt, mistrust. Whether it's real or not doesn't matter, if it's in my head, it's real enough to me. It is enough to consume.

I was in such a state already this year, distracted, fearful, uncertain, when my heart was pricked by a bit of truth. Like a tiny beam of light it pierced through my clouded and foggy mind to whisper, "but what about the truth?" What about all the things I know to be true? What about the one thing I can control?

I am like Eve. I'm made of dust and bone, and I'm given a choice. I'm not someone's puppet, forced to operate on command and do only what I'm told. I can weigh my options, I can listen to what I'm told, and I can make a choice. I can control one thing: myself. And in that, I can choose what voice I will listen to, what I will believe, and what I will do.

I know how the story goes for Eve. She chose to listen to the voice of the enemy. That voice only brings death, destruction, and heartache. It led her astray, to a place of deception, fear, and pain. I've read her story many times, I live in the wake of it. But regardless, I still can choose what I will do now. Will I follow the footsteps that lead down to death, or will I choose the path of life?

That day when Truth spoke to me, I turned, drawn to its light. I stopped looking at all the things I feared, all the things outside of my control. I looked at the Light, yes, that is Jesus, so beautiful and perfect, and I said, "That is what I want to look like. Make me more like Him." That is what I chose, and will continue to choose.

I am not perfect, nor will I achieve perfection in this life, none of us will. But moment by moment, day after day, I am given a choice. I am given one thing to control. It is not the people around me--however often I think I would like to control them--it is myself. And in controlling myself, through those choices and behaviors, I am able to embody my convictions. I am able to give life to the things I wish I could change, to the beliefs I say I hold. I am able to be an image-bearer, reflecting the One who made me, embodying Him to the world.

This is no small task. It is not lost on me how utterly impossible it is; yes, at times I will fail. But it doesn't mean that I won't try. Because if I am not fighting every day to obey Christ, to honor Him, and model my life after Him, who am I replicating? Myself? If so, and I am sinful, at the root of it, I am replicating sin. And sin does not point to the Truth, it points to the enemy. Sin is his business, and I want no part in that.

I felt challenged to share this piece of my story because I want accountability. I want you to know more of my heart, I want to share the ways God is teaching me, and I want to be challenged to follow through on my choices. I want to live my calling at all times, not just when it is easy or convenient, but when it is difficult and scary. I want to be actively involved in my faith, not sidelined by fear or pain.

And I want you to join me. I want to open up dialogue, to ask questions, and to search for answers. I want to find encouragement from like-minded friends, and to encourage those who may be struggling. I want to fight alongside others, rather than do battle alone, or worse, against each other. We may not always agree or see eye-to-eye, but I believe that in the kingdom of God, what unites us is more powerful and more important than what is allowed to divide. Through unity we can build, rather than tear down. And that is what we should strive to do: build God's kingdom for His glory, not our own.

If you're struggling on the edge of fear this year, I invite you to turn to the Truth. Let Him guide you into the light and change your life forever.

"Life was in Him, and that life was the light of men. That light shines in the darkness, yet the darkness did not overcome it." - John 1:4-5

"For God has not given us a spirit of fearfulness, but one of power, love, and sound judgment." - 2 Timothy 1:7

"But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peace-loving, gentle, compliant, full of mercy and good fruits, without favoritism and hypocrisy. And the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace by those who cultivate peace. ... Therefore, submit to God. But resist the Devil, and he will flee from you. Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you." - James 3:17-18; 4:7-8a

Exploring Creative Worship

Earlier this month I wrote a post about reclaiming creativity in Christianity. I have felt challenged to find ways to be more intentionally creative in how I worship, particularly in my personal time. I want to change how I view and behave in my time of Bible study and prayer as a response to the Creator. I want to reflect His creativity in an effort to glorify Him. So I have been asking, what does it look like to merge creative expression with worship?

I see many ways that the church has worked to merge creativity and worship--music, spoken word, lights, design, acts of service, potluck dinners. But as with most elements of Christianity, I know that we can do more, internally and externally. What exactly that looks like, I am hoping to uncover in the coming months.

As a first step, I am making a creative worship journal. I will be filling it with artistic pieces that I hope will reflect the truth about God creatively. It will incorporate verses, hymn lyrics, prayers, and responses to God out of my personal time of study. I will be starting with a goal of adding to the journal throughout the month of September. After that, I want to evaluate what I have learned and experienced to see what I should change and explore in the future.

As a second step, to move outside of my personal time, I will also be sharing what I design on my creative Instagram account. My hope in doing this is to authentically and truthfully honor God in a public forum. I also want to bring worship to an area of my life that I tend to engage in selfishly. I often do creative projects for myself or to earn money. While I don't think that is inherently wrong, I want to challenge myself to intentionally worship God in whatever I am doing.

If this sounds interesting to you, I want to invite you to explore creative worship as well. You can create a journal, or find another way to worship God through an area you are gifted in. Creativity is never limited to just art, it encompasses every skill from gardening to tech, parenting to cooking. Anything that we as humans can make or do is inherently creative as it is a reflection of our Creator.

If you decide to join in, please let me know. I would love to discuss your thoughts and what you are learning throughout the process.

Reclaiming Creativity in Christianity

I've been working through the latest IF:Equip study, Reflections of God: The Theology of Beauty. There have been lots of moments where I've felt like it has totally given me a huge kick in the seat. But today as I was working through some different topics on the arts it struck me just how much the Christian faith should not be boring.

I think if we're honest, we would each admit that there was at least one thing about being a Christian or about going to church that seemed boring at one point in time. It might have been the repetition and routine nature of a Sunday morning service (stand up, sit down, stand up...), or the endless silence associated with a time of prayer and Bible reading, or the exhausting language of whatever version you were reading ("thee before thou except after thine"), or a pastor's sermon that was impossible to follow and felt like it would never end.

I've been there for all of those things, and while I've tried to find the value in the midst of the seemingly mundane, sometimes it can be really hard not to check out. It can be even more hard to not view God as equally boring. After all, isn't the Christian life and church supposed to be a reflection of God? For many people, their first experience might just be that dry, routine church service, and they might think that's all there is to having a relationship with God. They might think that's all He is, a boring, routine being who speaks in old English and sits in silence.

I have loved the Reflections of God study because it has challenged this stereotypical view of God and our response to Him. And to be honest, I don't think He enjoys the boring and monotonous experience any more than we do. Certainly He desires our attention and worship, but I don't think He wants it to come from a place of stale monotony and obligation. None of us would want to be "loved" in that way, so why would God?

The first thing we learn about God is that He created. He is Creator. And He didn't create with just one color or sound or shape. He made tiny, minute animals alongside the vastness of the cosmos. He made humanity through a creative process of shaping dirt and bone to make male and female. He made an array of flavors and a tongue that could taste them. He made endless textures and the sense of touch to feel them. He spoke and with His voice He made the orchestra of sounds that fill our planet. And best of all, He made us in His image, so that we could create things too.

I look outside my window, and I see a world that is anything but boring, made by a Being who could never be boring. And yet, often times in the church and in our own lives, that is how we respond to Him. Perhaps we think that's what reverence is, a quiet, routine form of worship in which we endeavor to focus on Him alone. And there is nothing wrong with quiet or routine rhythms. But I think we do God, and worship, a disservice when we dumb it down, make it monotonous or boring, colorless or stale.

I think God wants to be worshiped in our creativity as well as our silence. He wants us to use our creative capacity to draw hearts to Him, to display His image, to worship passionately, both corporately and on our own. God wants all of us, and He wants us to tap into all that He has made us to be. We can sing and speak, move and dance, make art and music, design and illuminate, write hymns and stories, create delicious foods, grow flowers and plants, teach and train others, all for His glory.

Friends, let's change the stigma of Christianity as boring. Let's leave behind the colorless, lifeless, and the mundane for the colorful, creative, and beautiful. Let's tap into all that we can do and make to bring glory to the One who made us in His image and called us very good. Let us become the catalyst for change in how the world sees and understands the Gospel, the church, and the Christian life.

"Creativity is not an end in itself. Creativity is a means to achieving something better, something more salutary, productive, or beautiful. It exists for improvement, not impression... The gift is given for a purpose: The chief end of man is to glorify God, not man.

"Work has a duel purpose: to continue the process of creation and to counter the consequences of sin. The way you think about God influences the way you think about yourself. Thus we will be Godlike in our work if we recognize it as an assignment from Him... Creative behavior begins in the brain of a thinking individual with a desire to cause constructive change." - Howard Hendricks

Finding Grace

I can't lie--this season of life has been so hard. I've spent a lot of time, too much time, being angry. And now that the tides have begun to change, I find myself living in the aftermath. I thought I would feel relieved on this side of things, but I feel broken.

In this brokenness I see the wrongs that have been committed and I am forced to face them. And the more I look at the wrongs I feel have been done to me, I see the wrongs that have been done by me. I am forced to confront everything I believe about grace.

If you asked me what I believe about grace, I would tell you it's from Jesus, and it's for everyone. It doesn't matter what you've done, how far you've fallen, where you've gone wrong. Grace is offered freely. "Indeed we have all received grace after grace from His fullness, for the law was given through Moses, grace and truth came through Jesus Christ." (John 1:16-17) Grace through faith in Jesus saves us (Ephesians 2:8-9), I believe that with all that I am.

I believe that it is grace that empowers us beyond ourselves. It allows us to be used by God, even in the midst of our mistakes and sinfulness. It redeems us and draws us out of every pit we dig for ourselves. Grace surpasses every wrong we could commit. And grace motivates us to live like what we truly are--redeemed, forgiven, free.

But even with this grace so free, I see the ways we all struggle to give it away, whether to ourselves or to others. Somewhere in the midst of the wrong and the pain, we feel we have a right, a responsibility, to hold onto the wrongs committed. It doesn't really matter who committed them, withholding grace from ourselves or others is always the same--it's debilitating, and it's not our job.

"For Christ also suffered for sins once for all, the righteous for the unrighteous, that He might bring you to God" (1Peter 3:18a). Jesus has already paid for every wrong, He did that at the cross, giving us the ultimate gift of grace and buying our freedom. "Therefore, if the Son sets you free, you really will be free." (John 8:36) In this world starving for grace, it is a mistake to withhold the greatest gift we have been given, even to withhold it from ourselves.

I want grace in my life, every day. I haven't been perfect. I've made more mistakes than I can remember and I know on my own, I can't do anything good. But I also know that I can't be willing to offer myself grace and not offer it to others. I know that I believe grace and Jesus are available to all, and I can't stop sharing that.

This season of life has been hard, but it has also forged a new understanding of grace. I am thankful for it and pray that I will carry it with me always, giving grace freely as long as I live.

Today: A Message to the Church

It’s no surprise that our world is broken, it has been for a very long time. Injustice, racism, hatred, and violence, are nothing new. Humanity has done a great job of hurting itself for centuries. But in these more recent days, the blatant hatred and discord has made this reality even more obvious. I have witnessed more and more people coming forward to speak out against the wrongs, to share their experiences. And while each testimony of experienced racism, hatred, and violence sickens and pains me, I am thankful for those who are willing to raise their voices against the wrong. Oh how this world needs an antidote to itself!

The good news is that we have one, and it is more than time for the Church to rise up and share it! It is time for us to be more vocal than we have been in recent generations, to speak truth, not softly in our pulpits and homes, but loudly in the streets. Because the truth is, there will be other loud voices, speaking hatred and discord, speaking evil to our world. But we must ring out louder, with actions and words of truth and love.

Church, now is not the time to be silent. Now is not the time to let others do the work for us. Now is not the time to appeal to the masses, to bow to popular culture and the whims of the world. Now is the time for Christ to be proclaimed in word and in deed to the watching world that is so desperate for the undiluted Gospel. These are the days that we have been preparing for every time we sat through a sermon, memorized a verse, or practiced our Gospel methods. The time is now.

I implore you, if you claim to follow Jesus, if you call yourself a Christian, do not remain silent. When you see injustice, fight it. When you witness hate, confront it with Him who calls Himself Love. When you hear lies, speak the Truth with boldness. Dust off your Bible and read it with earnest. Get on your knees and pray for your communities, this country, and the world. There is only one Antidote for this world, and you know Him by name.

Church, do not turn on yourself, do not tear yourself down. Do not look to condemn those among you who are “too liberal” or “too conservative,” who voted “wrong.” The Church is the bride of Christ and He loves it dearly. Do not think you can spread hatred of the Church and not anger God. In all times and all ways, the Church must pursue unity. It is a body, one that cannot function without all parts working together in harmony. We must fight for unity.

Church, you are the hands and feet of Jesus. You do not exist to sit comfortably in your pew with your coffee and a side of condescension. You do not exist to stay in a bubble with those whose views align with yours. And above all, you do not exist to live a safe and prosperous life. In this world, you will have trials. But you are called to face the trials, to make disciples, to stand apart, and to do the will of the Father. I cannot wait to see what God does through willing and available hearts.

A Command for Husbands: Looking at Ephesians 5

This year I've been tackling some different topics surrounding faith and relationships. I've had this topic on my mind for even longer and I'm finally getting around to publishing my thoughts on it.

We all know marriage is a common topic within the Church in America, and within in that conversation, the topic of submission. It's a hot-button subject that many churches don't shy away from, and it has the potential to become the focal point when studying Ephesians 5. In my experience, churches sometimes camp on the topic of submission, what it looks like, how to do it, etc. But it's not the only important topic to consider when looking at biblical marriage.

Also in my experience, I've found the lack of dialog on a husband's calling--in the same Ephesians passage--disheartening. I think it's beyond time for leaders in the Christian community to step forward, and truly challenge married men to model the Ephesians 5 husband. It's not enough to simply be "in charge," there is a larger, more encompassing command present. I've also seen young women get a poor concept of biblical marriage as they are left with the command to submit, and not much more.

Married members of the Christian community should be seeking to give an accurate representation of both the roles of wives and  husbands within marriage. The call is not for women to blindly submit and men to tyrannically rule, but for there to be a two-person relationship that paints a broader picture of Christ and the Church. How can we model that if we don't earnestly seek what we are called to?

In an effort to do just that, I'm looking into the instruction of Ephesians 5:22-33, specifically looking at what husbands are called to. Based on the comparison and the position in which husbands are placed, I believe they have the greatest responsibility within marriage, and that is to model Christ. I will, for the sake of study, not ignore instruction for wives.

The Breakdown

Right away, this passage starts off with submission (v.22), but it is not devoid of a reason. Submission is a natural response to the husband's role, which is to mirror Christ's headship of the church. (v. 23) Wives are called to submit to their own  husband (not all  husbands/men), as to the Lord, because of the husband's role and position in marriage. Husbands are called to be a living picture  of Christ's headship over the church and His role as Savior of the body  (i.e., the church at large). (v. 23)

Immediately there is a picture being painted--God has intended for the husband-wife relationship to mirror that of Christ and the church. Marriage in and of itself is a God-ordained symbolism. Within that picture, there are distinctly defined roles. Just as the church submits to Christ, so wives are called to embody that by submitting to their husbands. (v. 24) The next six verses go on to contain instruction strictly for husbands.

Husbands are called to love their wives (v. 25a), and before you think that is a simple, easy calling, the rest of the verse explains what that love is to resemble. Husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her. (v. 25b) In other words, to love their wives, husbands are instructed to lay down their lives. Christ died for us, the church, to make us holy, cleansed, so that we could be presented to Him in splendor, holy and blameless. (vs. 26-27) His sacrifice is life-giving and selfless, with a goal of reconciliation to bring us close to Him. This is the type of sacrifice husbands are called to, to love is to give of oneself as Christ gave of Himself. He is the very definition of love. (1 John 4:8)

Ephesians 5:28 goes on to detail another aspect of the Christ-like love husbands are to emulate, loving their wives as they love themselves. Just as a man would provide and care for himself, so he must provide and care for his wife. (v. 29a) Again, this is to be a picture of Christ's provision and care for the church, because we, as the church, are members of His body. (v. 29b-30) And if you look at Christ's example, He gave up His literal, physical body on the cross, so He took it a step further  and valued the church over His own life. (John 19:16-30)

The passage wraps up by discussing how the husband-wife relationship is set apart and unique. A husband is called to leave his parents and be united to his wife in a profound mystery, mirroring Christ and the church. (vs.31-32) In that we see that a husband's responsibility is to his wife, not his parents, or extended family, or others. His primary role is to love his wife, and she is called to respect him. (v. 33)

The Response

I think a lot of women get hung up on this passage right out of the gate. It begins with wives and submission, and if you stop there, it can seem frustrating and one-sided. But you have to read the entire passage to find what is paired with that calling. With the call for wives to submit is the call for husbands to live like Jesus, a huge and challenging command that husbands cannot take lightly.

Before I go any father, I want to affirm that, unfortunately, not all husbands model Christ in their marriages. A husband is not automatically Christ-like just by getting married or by being male. Nor is a husband godly in his words and behavior at all times. Because of sin, men and women are fallen, sinful, unable to do good on their own, which is why we need Jesus all the time.

To be able to live like Jesus, we must be in constant pursuit  of Jesus. It doesn't come naturally, it's not easy, and honestly, it's not always fun. But it is the best, most rewarding, most fulfilling  way any human being can live. (Please know: If your husband, or any man for that matter, is treating you poorly--physically or emotionally--you are not  called to be a doormat and accept abuse. Please tell someone whom you trust, who can help you, and give you godly advice and council.)

The challenge for husbands is to singularly be in pursuit of Christ-likeness. Only through seeking Jesus--to know Him and become like Him--can a husband honor his God-given mandate within marriage. That mandate is, as stated in Ephesians 5:25-32, to love his wife as Jesus loved the church. To get a full grasp of that, I encourage you, read through the Gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John) and study who Jesus was, how He lived, and what He did to bring people to Himself. Really the entire Bible will point you to Christ, but the Gospels are a great place to start.

The Results

If husbands truly seek Christ-likeness and strive to emulate Him within their marriages, I believe they will begin to see certain, specific results.

• Denial of self. Jesus said in Mark 10:45, "For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life—a ransom for many." Jesus' very mission was to give up Himself. To be like Christ is to deny your selfish desires, to put the needs of others before your own. Within marriage, this manifests itself when a husband looks to care for the needs of his wife over his wants, desires and needs. To be truly Christ-like in marriage, a man cannot be selfish.
  
• Elevation of others. When you spend less time concerned with your own needs and more time serving others, you begin to elevate others. You see their value and worth and your actions help to underscore that value. In the marriage relationship, the husband elevates his wife to a place of honor and esteem. This is an equalizing position, one where a wife is highly valued, both for who she is and what she does. (See Proverbs 31:10-31 for an example of a man honoring his wife.)
  
• Strengthening of the family and the church. A relationship that exemplifies that of Christ and the Church will have a profound impact on both the family and the church body. A husband and wife who are striving after Christ together will set an unmistakable example of a godly marriage for their family and their church. This example can help guide others in marriage and in ministry by demonstrating a singular focus on Christ and His calling.

I also believe that if a husband is truly striving after Christ-likeness, submission becomes not merely a requirement but a joy. It becomes a natural response to the love and sacrifice of a godly husband. (For more on the topic of submission itself, check out this blog post.) And what is better than mutually encouraging each other toward a life, a marriage, that honors the Lord above all?

Dreams + Why I'm Letting Mine Go

I've had this topic on my mind a lot lately, and I've wrestled with how to express it adequately. It's taken three attempts to finally come together, but I think it's been worth it.

What I want to write about and process in this space is the idea of dreams. Not the ones we have while asleep, but the ones we set up for ourselves--our hopes and goals and desires. The type of dreams people are always talking about in quippy quotes and profound statements. The ones that lead to us becoming the successful, respected, recognized person we want to be. The ones many people's worlds revolve around, even fellow Christians.

We've done a fantastic job of convincing ourselves that our dreams mean the world. And while having a dream or a desire isn't inherently bad, it can be  when we let it take the place of our true purpose and calling in life. In those times, dreams can quickly become a distraction and evolve into something worse, an idol. Dreams can lead us to a selfish place where the only thing that matters is me  and what I want.

I've felt convicted about my personal dreams and goals for years, ever since college when I felt an unmistakable call to realign my priorities. I've been feeling that nudge in little and big ways ever since. Sometimes it's a temporary situation--I need to set aside what I want in order to do something more important now. Other times it's bigger--I have to make a change that will affect the rest of my life. Always it's a wrestling, against myself and what I want. I'm good at doing what I want. Doing what I know I should do is harder.

But the truth is, our dreams should never become our ultimate goal in life. As great as we think they are, as good as they sound, as passionate as we are about them, they're not meant to be our ultimate priority. And while I do think we can honor God in our dreams and our hopes, He is the ultimate designer of our true purpose. In order to keep dreams from becoming idols, we have to fix ourselves on the long term goal of pursuing and fulfilling our ultimate purpose. Everything else will, in the end, be simply a temporary and empty pursuit.

It's hard to surrender the things we so desperately want to accomplish. It's hard to let go of a dream. But I think teaching ourselves to listen to the truth will help. This world we live in is constantly trying to tell us how to define our value and worth. But it's always about something that won't last: money or success or beauty or possessions, a dream. It's always something we have to fight for, even at the expense of relationships, community, and time. I think that this type of thinking is so ingrained in us, we can't see anything else.

I believe that if we got a one-second glimpse of what waits for us after this world, we'd never think about our dreams again. We wouldn't even care about the things we had built our lives around. Money would mean nothing, fame would seem ridiculous, success would be laughable. The temporary would dissolve into what we were truly made for, the purpose God has called us to on earth and what awaits us when this world is gone.

The awesome thing is, we do get a glimpse of what's to come in the book of Revelation. It's full of prophecy and imagery and honestly some really confusing parts. But it also gives us a picture of what it will be like when everything is made new. When we finally get to where we're headed on this journey, Revelation 21 tells us a piece of what awaits followers of Jesus: paradise with God, a place where we will worship Him and revel in His glory forever.

Glory. That word appears at least 16 times in Revelation, depending on your exact translation. The majority of these references are describing or ascribing to God. Verses like Revelation 4:9-11 which says,

Whenever the living creatures give glory, honor, and thanks to the One seated on the throne, the One who lives forever and ever, the 24 elders fall down before the One seated on the throne, worship the One who lives forever and ever, cast their crowns before the throne, and say: "Our Lord and God, You are worthy to receive glory and honor and power, because You have created all things, and because of Your will they exist and were created."

And Revelation 5:13-14,

I heard every creature in heaven, on earth, under the earth, on the sea, and everything in them say: "Blessing and honor and glory and dominion to the One seated on the throne, and to the Lamb, forever and ever!" The four living creatures said, "Amen," and the elders fell down and worshiped.

I think if we look at heaven as described in Revelation, we can get a good idea of our ultimate purpose, what is waiting for us in eternity, and what we need to be doing before we get there. Also, there are other passages in Scripture that outline a clear and definitive purpose for us while we are on earth. Some of those include,

• Matthew 5:13-16: To be salt and light to the world around you so that people will give glory to God.
• Matthew 22:37-40: To love God with all your heart, soul, and mind, and to love others.
• Matthew 28:19-20: To make disciples, baptize them, and teach them everything commanded by Jesus.
• Romans 12:1-2: To worship God by presenting yourself to Him as a living sacrifice. And to be transformed, able to discern the will of God.
• 2 Corinthians 3:18: To reflect the glory of God and be transformed into the image of Christ.
• Ephesians 2:10: To carry out the good works that God has prepared for you.
• 2 Timothy 3:16-17: To become complete and equipped for good work, which will bring God glory.
• Hebrews 10:24-25: To encourage other Christians and spur them on to love and good deeds.
• 2 Peter 2:12: To conduct yourself in a way that will cause others to glorify God.

These are the things we should be striving after, that consume our efforts, that motivate our lives. This is where real, lasting worth lies. Not in our ideas of greatness, but in God's commands. This is the gold that will withstand the fire. This is the eternal that will not fade. This is our purpose.

The point of this post isn't to discourage you from having a dream and working toward it. The point is to remind those of us who follow Jesus that our dreams should align with our God-given purpose. In all that we do, we should be continually aligning ourselves with His will and plan for our lives. It will ultimately bring the most joy, the most purpose, the most good for us and for our world.

So I want to challenge myself and all of you: in 2016, set a dream for yourself that will bring God glory and usher you toward your true purpose.

What I Really Think About Submission

Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord, for the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of the body. Now as the church submits to Christ, so wives are to submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her to make her holy, cleansing her with the washing of water by the word. He did this to present the church to Himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or anything like that, but holy and blameless. In the same way, husbands are to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hates his own flesh but provides and cares for it, just as Christ does for the church, since we are members of His body. [Ephesians 5:22-29]

 
The Humanity of Submission

To be totally honest, the word submission makes me cringe. It can carry an antiquated feeling, recalling to mind the days when women were viewed as property belonging to their husbands. It reminds me of marriage vows in which the woman pledges to obey her husband. For an independent, headstrong woman like myself, I initially think, "Gross. No thank you." I'm no one's property and no one better think they're going to tell me what to do.

But that's submission tainted by humanity. It's looking at it through a lens of human history, personal experience, poor examples, and sin. When we think of submission, we hold it up against the examples we've witnessed in our own lives, the lives of people we know, and the lives we've learned about through history. All of those examples have one thing in common: they're broken.

Our view of submission is skewed because we're looking to imperfect representations and using them to make a decision. We base what we're going to do off of what we've seen other people do in the past. We look at men who have messed up, who have been poor leaders and even poorer husbands and we think, "We're supposed to submit to them?"

However, I recently did a Bible study that helped to reshape my perspective on submission, even though that wasn't the focus. It caused me to look at the concept of submission from a different angle. Instead of looking at the broken, human version of submission, it called me to look at a holy version of submission.

The Holiness of Submission

I think the biggest disservice we can do to submission, to marriage, is to make humanity our primary example. We need to stop looking to a failed and broken example and look to a perfect one. Therein we will find all the motivation and example we will ever need.

In the verses of Ephesians 5 listed above, we see that the church is the example in how it submits to Christ. But I want to take it a step further and look at the example of submission set by  Christ. Jesus modeled submission throughout His entire life and ministry, but I want to focus on perhaps the most striking and visible instance of submission, Jesus' final moments before His arrest.

The events of this period of time are recorded in Matthew 26:36-46, Mark 14:32-42, and Luke 22:39-46. Jesus has gone to the garden of Gethsemane and taken Peter, James, and John with Him to pray. 

Then He said to them, "My soul is swallowed up in sorrow—to the point of death. Remain here and stay awake." Then He went a little farther, fell to the ground, and began to pray that if it were possible, the hour might pass from Him. And He said, "Abba, Father! All things are possible for You. Take this cup away from Me. Nevertheless, not what I will, but what You will." [Mark 14:34-36]

Jesus prays this prayer more than once and even has a physical response to His distress. Luke 22:44 says, "Being in anguish, He prayed more fervently, and His sweat became like drops of blood falling to the ground." The Bible makes it perfectly clear that Jesus really didn't want to go through what He was about to experience. But after praying, He knew God's will, and He went without a fight (see Mark 14:43-53).

I think this passage, and Jesus' example, can teach us a lot about the holy, good, and right aspects of submission, the truth  about submission. Some of those things include:

1. Submission doesn't = silence. Jesus shows us that just because someone submits doesn't mean they can't voice thoughts and opinions. Submission doesn't mean you have to be quiet and just do what you're told. You still have a voice--an important  voice--in any situation.

2. Submission isn't for the weak. Jesus' sweat became blood; it was an intense situation. God called Him to do something that was excruciating. We won't always be called to such high-stress situations, but submission isn't for the faint of heart. It's for strong people who are able to tackle challenges and difficult times. Submission requires strength.

3. Submission isn't just for women. Hello, Jesus was a man. Yet he was willing to humble Himself, to come under the authority of God the Father, and to submit to God's will. Submission isn't just about gender. Yes, Ephesians 5:22 assigns submission to women in a marriage role, but it also assigns it to the church, which is made up of women and  men. Men are called to also submit to Christ, to the will of God, and to commands found in Scripture. Submission is for all of us.

4. And submission isn't just for married women. This fits under the previous point, but I wanted to make sure it stood alone. Submission isn't just a practice for the married among us (Jesus was single). To surrender our desires to God, to seek His will for our lives, that is something we all must practice. We often talk about submission within the structure of marriage, but by doing that, we minimize it. We talk about it like it's just for the ladies with husbands. But it's not. We can't keep leaving out those who are single, submission is also for them.

Holy Submission in Real Life

So the big question is, how do we bring the concepts of holy submission into real life and marriage? When we're looking at submitting to the God of the universe who undoubtedly will call us to things that are difficult and will include suffering, how do we shrink that down into a relationship between humans?

I think the biggest thing to remember is that submission is an opportunity to model Christ in our lives. Submission gives us an opportunity to live like Jesus, to give of ourselves and our desires, and to look to the greater good (the good of the Church body, the good of the community we're in, the good of our marriage). It guides us to look to the call of God in all aspects of our lives and relationships.

Earlier in Ephesians 5, verses 15-21 tell us this:

Pay careful attention, then, to how you walk—not as unwise people but as wise—making the most of the time, because the days are evil. So don’t be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is. And don’t get drunk with wine, which leads to reckless actions, but be filled by the Spirit: speaking to one another in psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs, singing and making music from your heart to the Lord, giving thanks always for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, submitting to one another in the fear of Christ.

What a great reminder that submission should accompany all the things we do together as Christians. It is a way we can die to ourselves and look to the life that God wants us to live. It is not a negative aspect of relationships, nor is it a lesser role. It's not a call to simply be meek and quiet. But it is a call to something immensely challenging in that it does require us to give up our selfishness.

So what do I really think about submission? I think it's a word and concept that we as Christians need to reclaim. We need to end the stigma that submission is a bad thing, or a calling just for married women. I think we all, regardless of gender, need to make it a priority to model Christ-likeness through giving of ourselves. We need to actively surrender things--desires, rights, privileges, wants--to God for the sake of His call and His body. We need to look beyond ourselves to those around us whom we can love and serve while modeling the traits of Christ.

I think we need to throw out the old concepts surrounding submission and we need to embrace submission as demonstrated by Jesus. I think this can only take us to good places, places we need to be as the hands and feet of Christ.

Now you are the body of Christ, and individual members of it. [1 Corinthians 12:27]

What I'm Learning About Hard Truths from Scripture

Let's be totally honest here. Some parts of the Bible are challenging. They can be really difficult to read and to understand. Some of the verses I struggle with are passages that talk about women, like 1 Timothy 2:11-15.

Usually when I read that particular passage, I like to get through it as quickly as possible, especially verse 11. There is something a little painful about reading those verses, they make me cringe. But at the same time, I know if I was honest, there is something for me to learn in that passage just like every other verse in the Bible.

The reality is, we like to use the Bible to fit our views, to make us comfortable, to affirm our beliefs. We focus on the sections that we like and ignore or write off the portions we dislike or don't understand. But the truth is, the Bible isn't here to make us feel good, the Bible is here to tell us hard truth, to instruct us, to teach us about God and the things we need to know, obey, and live by. The whole  Bible.

One argument some people like to take against certain passages--like this one in 1 Timothy 2--is that it was cultural and thus not relevant or applicable to our culture and time. Women today shouldn't be bound to a command that was issued under a different cultural setting, some say. This may be completely true, but I would also argue, why dismiss a verse so quickly without allowing time to reflect, study, and ask God why this particular passage was included in the Bible? Just looking at it in cultural context can be too easy. What does God want to teach us through the tough passages, the parts we want to gloss over or skip all together?

I love how the Bible is described as "living and active" in Hebrews 4:12. It's a beautiful picture of the complexity and depth of the Scriptures. We can read the same verses over and over and receive new understanding and new enlightenment each time. Each time the Holy Spirit can show us something we haven't seen before, something we didn't know, if we open our hearts and minds to His leading.

I think God wants us to do that, to approach His Word with openness to whatever He may want to teach us. To come expectant that we will find not what we  want, but what He  wants, and in so doing, be transformed into men and women of God.

Too often we come to the Bible with an agenda. An agenda dictated by our society, by others' views, or our own thoughts and expectations. We use that agenda as a screen through which we view the Bible, and truthfully, it poisons everything we read. Allowing the world and people in it to dictate your view of the Bible and what you want to read in it is a level of conformity. Romans 12:2 says this about conformity:

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

This verse should be our guiding goal as we come to the Bible. We should be looking for transformation and renewal in our minds, seeking the will of God. The Bible should mold us in the truth, not be molded by us. It should be our guide and instruction in ultimate truth. Biblical transformation and renewal enables us to be able to discern God's will, which will answer our questions about social issues, morality, justice, even our roles as men and women in the church.

Which brings me back to 1 Timothy 2:12 which says, "I do not allow a woman to teach or to have authority over a man; instead, she is to be silent." No, I'm not particularly fond of this verse. Yes, it may be intended to have a strictly cultural application in a time when women were less educated than men. But I know and believe God wants to teach me and the church from it, both women and men.

Can I just be honest with you and unpack what I've been learning? No, I'm not going to tell you what women can and can't do. I'm not going to tell you what you should think when you read this verse. I'll let God handle that. I just want to share a few things that have been on my mind, that I've observed, and that I've learned by allowing God's Word to instruct me more than outside opinions.

This passage causes reflection on church leadership, positions which come with great responsibility. James 3:1 says, "Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness." If someone assumes the role and responsibilities of a teacher in the church, he or she also assumes the consequences of failure within that role: stricter judgement.

I think any person who wants to be a leader in the church should do so carefully and somberly, not from a place of declaring, "I can and will do what I want," but from a place of asking, "God, what do you want from me?" There is no harm to being careful to obey God's Word, but there is harm in rushing ahead to do something just because we can. Just because a man or woman can preach, doesn't always mean that he or she should. Wisdom comes in knowing the difference.

I often hear an argument for women to be pastors coming from a place of progressive thought. We view it as a sign of growth, modernity, or moving forward out of the "dark ages" when women were treated as less. This progression isn't inherently bad--particularly in society--but it can become bad when we look to it before we look to the Word of God, particularly in the church. It can become bad when we see it as a right we have to fight for. We so quickly forget that ministry, the Church, God's kingdom, isn't about us or our "rights."

James 3:13-18 speaks to this situation well:

Who is wise and has understanding among you? He should show his works by good conduct with wisdom’s gentleness. But if you have bitter envy and selfish ambition in your heart, don’t brag and deny the truth. Such wisdom does not come from above but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. For where envy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder and every kind of evil. But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peace-loving, gentle, compliant, full of mercy and good fruits, without favoritism and hypocrisy. And the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace by those who cultivate peace.

These passages also cause me to examine myself. Could there be something in 1 Timothy 2 or James 3 that I need to internalize, that I need to learn? The short answer is yes, I do feel like God has been showing me some things that I struggle with and some things I need to let go. The lessons are hard, but also sweet. I want to have humility, I want to have a gentle spirit, I want to have wisdom. I want to be known for Christ-likeness.

Like I said before, I'm not going to tell you what to do. I'm not going to say women shouldn't be pastors. I'm also not going to say that women should be pastors. I don't think blanket statements of that nature are good for deciding who should and shouldn't be a church leader. I definitely don't think men should assume church leadership roles based solely off of their gender, but the Bible speaks to that as well (1 Timothy 3:1-13).

Regardless of what I think, I leave those decisions to God's guidance and leading, because I know He calls those He wants to call, men and women. I do encourage you to seek Him before you make a decision about this either way. To move toward a decision out of a place of anger, intolerance, self-promotion, or condemnation will do more harm than good, to you and others. I think that if we are open, there are hard truths God wants to teach all of us from Scripture.

I would love to one day have a greater role in the church. My spiritual gifting is first pastor/shepherd and second administration. But I don't see that as a right, I see it as a privilege I hope to use for God's glory. What that will look like and how that will manifest itself, I don't know. But in the mean time, my main goal and objective is to know and glorify God, and to simply serve Him wherever I am, however I can.

My hope in sharing all of this is to encourage men and women, and myself, to always return to the Bible. Look to the guiding word of God before you act, before you jump on a social bandwagon, before you broadcast a platform. The Bible is and always will be relevant, instructive, and authoritative.

All Scripture is inspired by God and is profitable for teaching, for rebuking, for correcting, for training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work. (2 Timothy 3:16-17)