A Queen's Broken Song

These days are heavy, and I've felt the weight of stories that have been told. I am inspired by the brave who have spoken out out, and they have helped me to craft something new. It's a little bit of poetry, a little bit of spoken word. If you want to read along while you listen, the text is below.

If you have been a victim, I want you to know, when you are ready, you can tell your story. It doesn't have to be today, or all at once, but I want you to know that there is a community that will listen and support you. You are not alone, you have a voice.



A Queen's Broken Song

I wrote this for the girls,

Even the ones I don’t know. 

Because I do know this:

It’s really hard to grow

And move past the pain

And speak truth to yourself

When all you feel is cheap

Like something thrown on a shelf.
   

"Be seen and not heard,

You don't have a voice,"

They've said all my life,

Like I don't have a choice.

As though I had no power,

Or purpose or goal

But in the quite moments

I was readying my soul.
   

To say it loud, join in with me now,

I’m a queen, I know I am.

A queen that’s worth more

Than just gem stones and glam.

A queen that’s respected

Who is given honor and love,

Not just by society or man

But God almighty above.
   

See He says I’m worth more

More than diamonds or gold,

Beautifully and wonderfully made,

Whether I’m young or I’m old. 

I am a queen, called by name

Given power and life

Given talents and gifts

Whether I’m single or a wife.
   

By this I’m defined,

Not by words or by deeds,

Or man's love and esteem

But by a Savior who bleeds.

Who calls me by name

And makes me His daughter

Because He paid my price

Like a lamb to the slaughter.
   

And now I’m redeemed,

Set free by the King

A woman of worth

With a song I must sing.

And a life I must live,

And a story I'll tell

'Cause I've only got one

And so I'll tell it well.

  

How people have tried 

Oh so hard to use me.

To take and to touch

And to make me to be

Something I know I'm not,

Whether by word or by power.

But something they forgot

In that darkest of hour,

  

Is that God walked with me,

More than a mile,

He's been there the whole time,

And He's seen what is vile.

He's felt my pain,

And my torment, it's true

That what was done to me

Was done to Him too.

  

Together we hurt,

Together we cried,

Together we lived,

Because One of us died.

Together we rise,

Together we stand,

I know that I'm safe

In the palm of His hand.

  

And I know that He loves me,

Which is why I can tell you,

Because of His grace,

That He loves you too.

And He wants you to change,

To become like His Son,

To leave your old life,

Because that battle is done.
   

The cross is what stands,

A reminder for sure,

That what is blemished 

Can in fact be made pure. 

He calls prodigals home,
Sets weary feet to dance,
And not just the good,
He gives each one a chance.
  
And that's my story,
A queen's broken song,
Made whole by the One
Who has loved her so long.
Made pure by the grace
He freely bestows
And now I can say,
I'm like a flower that grows.
  
More and more beautiful
Each day I become,
Not by effort or work
But because of the Son.
Because of His truth,
That transforms my heart
Because of His kingdom,
Of which I'm a part.
  
I wrote this for the girls,
And for the boys too,
For the men and women,
Because we all need You.
You change our lives,
You help us to grow,
And You love us more
Than we'll ever know.

Dressember 2017: The Recap

My fourth--and perhaps best--year of Dressember has come to a conclusion, which of course requires a recap post.

I say "perhaps best" not just because this is the most I've been able to raise in any one campaign (currently $2,071.08), or because over half of my supporters were first-time donors to my campaign. I say it not just because this year the World Changers team was the biggest it has ever been or because together we raised a combined $8,616.87.

I say "perhaps best" because sometimes in the fight, in the struggle, in the asking, I learn something about myself too. And sometimes I need that lesson more than I realize. Because sometimes scars aren't physical, and because sometimes when we're fighting for others, we find healing without even knowing it.

I say "perhaps best" because this year, I felt more empowered than I have in a long time. And I am reminded of what I can do.

So many times I, and other women, are told what we cannot do. We are put in a box, told to be a certain way, denied the ability to use our gifting, kept sidelined when all we want is to soar. I didn't realize the pain I was carrying from this denial, or how it made me view myself, until Dressember 2017 was coming to a close.

For the past several years (Maybe many? I honestly don't know.), I have felt like I could do more, give more, but I have felt anything but empowered. I have approached so many doors, only to have them slam closed in my face. I have questioned what I am doing countless times, or if I'm even good at really anything. And through it all I have felt my soul shriveling.

Dressember was a much needed reminder, a drink of glorious truth, that reminded me that I can. I can flourish, I can succeed, I can be good at something. I can bring something to the table, I can be of use. It may be simple--putting on a piece of clothing and talking about slavery is something anyone can do. But regardless, it is something, it is a way to make a difference, and I will accept it with open arms.

From here I feel like the sky is the limit. I feel like I can keep flying, keep doing, keep fighting. And what I want most is to impart that empowerment to others. I want other women to know that they can. They can use their gifts, they can make a difference, they can have a voice, and they can change the world. And I would love to have you join me.

Do you know a woman who is fighting for something? A woman who wants to do more? A woman in whom you see great strength, talent, or gifting? Speak that into her life. Even if all you can offer are words, use those words to build her up. Heaven knows she needs it.

To everyone who has supported me this month, from the bottom of my heart, thank you so much. Through your support, you have empowered me more than you can know. And I needed it more than I ever have before. Through that empowerment and support, you have helped me raise more money to fight for the freedom, rights, and empowerment of others. For that, I thank you.

If you are interested in giving to Dressember, my campaign page will remain open throughout January. If you feel led to donate, you can do so here.