For You, Life

Ever wonder what your life is worth, or who would miss you after you are gone?

What is left in the void created by your absence? What do the people say about you, standing over your cold corpse? Do they say it was a tragedy, you died so young? Do they say they don't know why this had to happen to you? Do the people look down from their lofty eyes and thank the Lord their hearts are still beating? Do they mourn the stop of yours?

Do you care what is left behind you, after you are gone?

Perhaps the reality that we will all still be here didn't come to mind. Of course when life is bleak and dark and cold, it's easy to forget the ones your existence keeps warm. Instead of looking from the inside out, you've got to contort your viewpoint, looking from the outside in.

What do people see when they look at you?

Certainly the ones who call themselves strangers, perhaps acquaintances, will admit they don't know much about you. They see someone who is young, perhaps struggling, but has opportunities just like the rest of us. They see that you are carefree, handsome and strong.

But I am not one of those, the ones who don't know you. Neither are the ones who call themselves family, friends, lovers. They know the you that you are struggling to see. The you they love and dream for. They know your secrets, but hold none against you. They know your flaws, and see only your successes. To them, you are a beating heart, a lung full of air, essential for survival in a world otherwise lonely and rejecting.

Don't forget this in your wondering, as you contemplate your worth. And when you think you want to pass that way, remember who will be waiting, waiting for you to come home. When life seems like a deathtrap and all you're wanting is escape, don't forget the ones that couldn't go on without you in their life.

For you we've prayed and thanked the Lord. For you our hearts smile and dance. For you we keep these treasured memories. For you we long and hope. For you we love.

Moments in the Company of Death

These past two weeks I feel like I've been living in a haze. A little bit lost, somewhat stunned and undoubtedly disconnected.

These past two weeks I looked at death. I realized how little I know or understand about it, beyond the fact that I have seen others taken by it. I realized I had a lot of questions and very little understanding about death and the act of dying.

When does death really take you? Is it the moment you stop breathing, or when your heart stops beating? But what about your mind? If your mind stops working properly, is it really you in there? Or is it just a shell? The shell is what they put in caskets and bury in the ground. How are your mind and soul connected? Does your soul have consciousness? If so, do you need your mind to understand what's going on, or just your soul? And how are all these elements--heart, lungs, mind, soul--connected? What does it feel like at the moment you die? Are you aware that you're dying, or are you simply aware that you are present in a new and different place?

The week of April 4 I finally got to see my grandpa after his fall and rapid decline. They put him in a care facility. Before I got there, he had been speaking to people. Not always coherent, but speaking. When I got there, he only said two things we could understand, he slept most of the time, and by all accounts, was mentally gone. He wasn't the same Grandpa I had known all my life.

It was so hard to see someone who had once been quick-witted and full of life lying in a bed, eyes glassy and unfocused, unable to interact with his loved ones. No, it was more than hard, but the words to express the feeling are absent. The feeling is a mixture of powerlessness, sadness, and understanding that you will never have that person back. They are gone.

That understanding made me question what marks the ending of life. Scientifically there is a dying point when the body ceases to be alive, I get that. But seeing Grandpa made me realize death is so much more complex than just a heart stopping. At least it was for him.

Where was he, lying in that bed in his last week of life? Where was his mind? Where was the man we had all known? The shell, his body remained but his mind was gone.

I believe the soul leaves when the body dies, but is that really correct? And if so, was Grandpa's soul aware that his mind was gone? Does the mind dictate what the soul understands? And what exactly is the soul?

I realized too, looking at Grandpa, that the barrier between life and death is so thin, like a piece of tissue paper, it can be ripped in an instant. I didn't feel so strong and invincible, watching him. I felt frail, breakable, like my last moment could be his last moment.

And I've always heard this, but it's true, life goes by so fast. You really don't have as much time as you think to do all the things you'd like. So you'd better get on with becoming who you want to become and doing what you want to do. When the veil between life and death is torn, that's the end--there is no going back.

I'm glad that Grandpa was a believer in Jesus. Knowing that I will see him again made all the difference in the world when I had to see his body lying in the casket. It didn't really lessen the pain of the loss, but it did cast a ray of hope into the haze I was drifting through.

Sometimes I think that if the person that has died was a believer, I shouldn't really feel sad. They're in heaven (or what some people call "a better place"), without pain or suffering or sadness. But the truth is, the rest of us on earth are in a place of pain, suffering and sadness. And we have to go on without the person that we love.

I have to go on without either one of my grandpas now. At moments it feels like there is a missing piece to my life. It's not tangible, but a looming void hovers within the unseen parts of my existence. Eventually we get used to the void, but it's always there. It's like that with really anyone you lose, whether they die or go away by choice.

I know I'm going to miss Grandpa for a long time. He had great stories, he was generous and laughed a lot. He loved sports and gardening and making things. He served his country through the Marines and through various political offices. He gave to anyone who had need. He loved the game of Hearts. He was an usher at his church. He meant a lot to me.

The Difference Between God As He Is & God How We Want Him To Be: Part 2

[Continued from Part 1.]

I've been listening through Exodus-Deuteronomy lately, and I've found that the Old Testament is a great place to start on discovering who God is. This portion of the Bible is full of revelations about the character and nature of God. It also contains the early interactions between God and humans, cluing us into how the Creator relates to and views the created.

I feel like sometimes there's a lack of focus on the study of the OT; that a lot of people prefer to focus on New Testament passages. These are obviously essential, but it is equally important to not leave out the Old when looking into the nature of who God is.

Granted, we are not under the laws that governed the Israelites in the OT (we are under the New Covenant because of Jesus' death and resurrection), but there is much that can be learned about God from the OT. So in short, it's important not to ignore this portion of the Bible and to include it when studying.

I've found Exodus-Deuteronomy very revealing because they contain the laws and practices for God's chosen people. These books also include a lot of instances of when God spoke to people (namely Moses).

If you've read these books, I'm sure you've noticed the sometimes seemingly bizarre laws that were in place. While we're not going to go into the why's and reasons, I do think these laws can give us good insight into the person of God.

Without going through everything--because it would take way too long and turn into a book instead of a blog post--I do want to point out a few important things. These especially relate to attitudes surrounding the conflict I mentioned in part 1 (God's attribute of love coupled with the fact that people can go to hell).

First, I want to start by citing a few passages that speak to the fact that God has always existed, and in that, He is always the same. These help us remember that God is unchanging, so God whom we worship today is the same God whom the Israelites worshiped in the wilderness.

In Malachi 3:6, God says, "I the LORD do not change." In Psalm 90:2, the psalmist declares, "...from everlasting to everlasting, you are God." What this tells us is that God--His nature and attributes--have always been and will always be exactly the same.

This brings us to the revealing passages of the OT that clue us into truths about who God is. Many of these truths can be uncovered in the laws God put into place. These laws were set in place to govern the people in their relationship with God, to make them right with Him.

Along with the laws, you will find that punishments for breaking the law are listed. In fact, death was a primary punishment for disobedience in many instances (often by stoning). This can be seen in passages like Ex. 21:16, Ex. 31:14, Lev. 20:27, Lev. 24:14, Num. 35:17, Deut. 17:2-6, Deut. 21:20-22, and Deut. 22:23-25.

These laws indicate what was important to God. Not only did He expect certain behaviors, but He expected obedience. Disobedience was not overlooked or ignored. Sins were punished. A lack of obedience led to death, or in other instances animal sacrifice. In either case, blood had to be shed as a way of atoning for the sin that was committed.

Also, a theme you will see often throughout the laws listed in Deuteronomy is a purging of evil. God gave instructions to the Israelites for the proper response to sins committed. Repeatedly after instructions were given, God would state, "You must purge the evil from among you." (See a verse list here.) God didn't tolerate evil among His people--He wanted it extracted before it had a chance to spread.

All this indicates the fact that God is just. He will have justice and will enforce consequences. And since He is the same yesterday, today and forever, He will continue to be just. Those who live in rebellion, whose sins have not been atoned for, will not escape His wrath.

Today, we are no longer under the law because of the death of Jesus. OT sacrifice and bloodshed points to the sacrifice of Jesus, which atoned not only for all sins previously committed, but all sins that would ever be committed. God's justice was poured out on Christ when He was crucified on the cross. Therefore, if we chose to believe in Jesus--that His sacrifice atones for our sin and that He is the only way to God--we are free from the wrath of God and the punishment of hell. (There is much more that can be said on the death and resurrection of Jesus, but for this point I will be keeping it short.)

This means that if we reject Jesus, God will not have mercy on us. John 3:36 states, "Whoever believes in the Son has eternal life, but whoever rejects the Son will not see life, for God’s wrath remains on them." This verse stands in strong opposition to those who state that all people will go to heaven, and indicates otherwise. (The book of Romans also speaks multiple times of the wrath of God.) God will not ultimately save all people from hell, for this would go against his nature. Those people who do not believe in Jesus will not have eternal life.

This truth seems to be a hard one for people like Rob Bell to understand and buy into. They question how a loving God could allow people to go to hell, and why He wouldn't keep them from it. They think that God being loving means that He would ensure that all people spend eternity in heaven after they die, and that no one suffers in hell. But they leave out God's justice, and the reality of free will.

The truth is, all people have the freedom to make their own decisions. This goes back to the Garden of Eden and Genesis 1-3, where we see that since the beginning of the existence of humanity, we have been given the freedom to obey God or disobey God. God has never forced anyone to obey Him--if He did, we would still be perfect today.

But with freedom comes consequences. It's a cause-effect relationship. We do what we want, and thus suffer the outcome. We can choose to ignore the laws of society, but we'll end up in jail. We can choose to reject and ignore God, but we'll suffer the consequences.

The bottom line is, God cannot go against His nature. This is something we have to understand as we seek to know who He is. He is not like us in our fickleness. We have changes of heart, act different ways, go against our word. God in His perfectness is bound to who He is and what He says. He can never and will never go against His word or His nature.

Ultimately, this gives us comfort as we remember Malachi 3:6, "I the LORD do not change." What is left then is for us to pursue God with our entire being and to discover who He is.

The Difference Between God As He Is & God How We Want Him To Be: Part 1

There is a massive dichotomy in religious circles when it comes to the understanding of God. I say dichotomy, because it can simply be boiled down two two views: the way we want/think/presume/expect God to be, and the way that He is.

Granted, with all the diversity present in religious groups, our views of who we think God is are vastly different. But, they're all views and understandings created by humanity. Our view of God is shaped by what we are taught, what we experience, what we think and reason, and ultimately, our view is flawed by our imperfections and lack of total understanding and comprehension.

And then there is truth and reality about who God really is. This can be found in the Bible, though we shouldn't expect to know and understand absolutely everything about God from reading the Bible. I say this because He is so far above us and works beyond our finite (limited) understanding, that all truth about him could not possibly be contained or explained in the Bible. (If you doubt that God is beyond or above us, then you are welcome to demonstrate your skills versus His.) Therefore, understand that you will inevitably have questions that will not be answered.

However, there is a great deal about God, His nature, His acts, His expectations of humanity, that can be discovered from reading the Bible. What is contained in the Bible is exactly what God wanted each person to know about Him, nothing more and nothing less. So we can trust that what is important, essential and relevant when it comes to the truth of who God is, is completely contained within the Scriptures.

This knowledge is important because it in turn helps us understand that any additional, non-biblical (not found in the Bible) information about God produced by man falls into the first camp of understanding. (Again, this understanding is the way we want/think/presume/expect God to be.) It is therefore unreliable and should not be taken as complete and total truth about God.

The best way to determine if what is being said/taught about God is true is to compare it to the Bible. Does the Bible back it up? Is what is being taught consistent with what you find in the Bible? If not, it should be dismissed and thrown out. We should never take a theologian, philosopher or church leader's word over the Bible.

And why is this? Because if we blindly follow the teachings of any person (well intending or ill), we can very quickly be led away from the truth.

The Apostle Paul writes of this exact problem in Galatians 1:6-24 (particularly verses 6-9 and 11-12, though the entire passage contains his argument). He warns the believers of the early church to not follow other teachings of men that are not in line with the truth presented in what is now the Bible. (Paul does not say "the Bible," but "gospel other than the one we preached to you." To find out what Paul preached, you can begin with Paul's conversion in Acts 9, continue reading the remainder of the book, and then read each of the books of the Bible written by Paul--Romans, 1 & 2 Corinthians, Galatians, Ephesians, Philippians, Colossians, 1 & 2 Thessalonians, 1 & 2 Timothy, Titus and Philemon.)

That being said, it is nothing new that humans are misleading and being mislead when it comes to the Bible and to who God is. This has been going on for centuries. The sad part is, even though most people now have the Bible in their own language (particularly here in America where anyone that doesn't own a Bible can get one often times for free), we are still being mislead and allowing ourselves to be mislead.

This brings me momentarily to the current debate being stirred up by a pastor by the name of Rob Bell. In his most recent book, Love Wins: A Book About Heaven, Hell and the Fate of Every Person Who Ever Lived, he attempts to work out the conflicting facts that God is loving, but people still can go to hell.

These conflicting facts are nothing new, and have bothered people for centuries. Most cannot understand this, to them it is an irreconcilable conflict, just as it is to Bell. And just as Bell has done, people in their finite understanding will attempt to reconcile the conflict. They will twist, distort and mutilate the truth of who God is so that they feel better about Him. They want to make a new reality about God that is comfortable for them.

But, if we look at who God is biblically, we will see that this is not an irreconcilable conflict, it is the truth of who God is. Of course, people will not want to accept it. They will still choose to reject it, and argue that the truth is impossible. But you, you have the ability to know and believe the truth. The question is, will you?

[To be continued in Part 2.]