What I Learned During a Week in the Mountains

Last week I got to go to Estes Park, Colorado, with a group of really awesome senior and junior high students for Student Life camp.

I'm usually really honest on this blog, so I'll be honest, I went on the trip for totally selfish reasons. I absolutely wanted to spend a week in the mountains, back in my favorite state and place to live. So I jumped on the chance to go as a leader. About a week before the trip I found out my job as a leader was a little more involved than just going and making sure the kids had fun.

I had to co-lead a small group (called a family group) Bible lesson and discussion each day, which I did not feel prepared for at all. Plus, the week before camp was super busy with a two-day trip to Chicago (with the seniors) and work and packing. So I didn't have any time to prepare and was starting to stress out. I started thinking that this wasn't what I had signed up for and I wasn't prepared to lead any body. But it was a little too late to do anything about it, so I just hoped that between my co-leader and I, we'd work it out.

Right away I felt like God broke me of my selfish motives and refocused me on what I should've been focused on from the beginning: the students. I felt so bad that I had wanted to go for myself and wished that I'd had the right motivation from the get-go. But I decided right away that those misplaced motives weren't going to keep me from doing my job to the best of my ability.

But then, I got a nasty outbreak of hives and some other skin problems I've been dealing with for years and all of a sudden, that was all I could think about. If you've ever had a skin condition, you know that all you want to do is hide from the world until it's better because you feel like all people see are the red bumps and not you. So I was pretty upset that it was happening and I tried to hide it for a day but I knew eventually people would start noticing, so I mentioned it to some of my fellow leaders. Thank goodness I did because my friend Bri offered to give me some different forms of Benadryl she had and it really helped. Plus talking about it helped me not internalize it, which forced me to realize that it was yet another thing distracting me from why I was really there.

It's funny how many things can keep your attention away from where it should be, and how sometimes you don't even realize it. But I'm so thankful that God helped show me where I needed to be focused, and it was so awesome just to be able to be there with the students. I don't even know if I did much good, but being able to befriend the students and share from my life experiences was so special. And to see how God moved in their hearts to draw them to him was really incredible. They were open to hearing from him, acknowledging him, and letting him work in their lives, and it showed. I probably haven't happy-cried that much in my entire life.

There are lots of moments that I will remember forever, like watching students put their faith in Jesus or when all the guys decided to serve breakfast to the girls, but I know there were some things that changed in me too. And even though it was a week for the students, God was teaching the leaders as well.

So many times I don't talk about what I believe because I know Christians have a reputation and it's not a good one. When people look at me, I don't want them to think of me like that. I don't want them to think I hate people, that I'm judgmental or condescending, because I'm not and I have no room to be. All I want to do is show people love, because honestly, that's what Jesus is, love. He's not shaking his finger saying, "Look at all you've done wrong!" or saying, "I am holier than you!" He's just love. It's the people who have messed that up, who have made Christians seem hateful or like a list of rules is going to get you into heaven, and I don't want to be a person like that.

If anything, I hope my generation and those to follow can change that stigma. It will probably take a long, long time, and some hot-headed person will probably come along and damage it, but that's what I'm working on. And yes, I'll make mistakes, we all do, we're not perfect, but I'm going to do my best with God's help, to love like he does. I'm not going to force my beliefs on anyone, but if anyone wants to talk about it, I'm always open and willing. I won't know all the answers, I can promise you that, but everything in life is a learning process, just like last week at camp. :)

“Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’  This is the first and greatest commandment.  And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” - Matthew 22:36-40

On Becoming a MOH

Last week, this showed up on my Facebook newsfeed and I was pretty dang excited. :)

One of my best friends in the whole wide world, Jessica, is getting married this summer and asked me to be her Matron of Honor (aka, MOH). I've been in several weddings, but always as a standard bridesmaid. So I figured, why not document this occasion and add it to my wedding ramblings on this blog? I figured I'd be learning some great new things that I could pass along to other future "honors." So get ready! :)

In the mean time, let me just tell you a little about Jessica. Jess and I met back in our college days once, but were never really in the same friend circle. (Which actually is really sad because the two of us together is the right combo of crazy and fun and what friend circle wouldn't want that?!) Then one summer we both moved out to Colorado to live closer to guys we were dating and decided to meet up one day. That kicked off our awesome friendship, and for a while our lives followed a really similar path. That is, until I moved back to Iowa. :/

It's been hard to have a long-distance friendship because we're both face-to-face quality time-type people, but we always make it a point to chat on Google or Skype or Facebook or text. This has helped us stay close even while miles apart. And I've learned that if you put in the effort, you can still have a great relationship even if you can't hang out in person as much as you want. I'm so thankful that Jessica is the type of friend who will put in that effort right back. She and I both know we can text the other one whenever to talk about whatever (sometimes that meant guy drama, or job stuff, or moving, or family craziness, or just regular old mundane stuff). Having someone who is always there for you is the biggest blessing, and I have been so blessed by knowing Jessica.

Over the past few years we've been able to see each other about once a year, visiting either in Colorado or Chicago/Iowa. Last year, Jessica was a bridesmaid in my wedding and helped throw me a fantastic bachelorette party and pretty much made sure everyone was having fun the whole weekend. We haven't seen each other since then, but I'm so glad we'll be together for her big day!

I'm a big sucker for weddings, so I'm super excited for everything that will be going on. I'm also excited to document the process and will be sharing all the important details here. Until I get back to post again, I would really appreciate any tips/advice you have for being a matron of honor, from a MOH's perspective as well as a bride's, because I think both are important. I want to make sure I remember all the important stuff (like writing an aww-worthy speech and throwing an epic bachelorette party) as well as all the essential little things. So comment away and check back soon! :)

Snapshot of My Life

Oh hey, almost-over month of April. I'm sorry I haven't been around as much. Life has gotten... sort of busy, mostly to the extent that I haven't been able to sit and just write. Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't write here unless I have something really great to share. But let's be real, who regularly has something really great to share, say once a week? Sometimes you just need to write about regular old life.

Nick and me at church on Easter Sunday.

My April has looked something like this...

My hours at work have been picking up. Sometimes this is a mixed blessing. More money is always good, but more nights/weekends spent away from Nick, not so good. I enjoy most things about my job, my coworkers, our clients, the cute clothes, the constant activity, the discount. But I struggle to focus on the good when the schedule reads that I'll be sitting at home while Nick's at work, then going to work when he's at home. (Hate that.)

I got to thinking the other day that the childhood me would be in love with my job, especially the part that involves using the register to ring up purchases. I always loved things like cash registers and adding machines as a kid. Something about pushing the buttons was like crack to my kid brain. One of the best gifts I got as a kid was a decommissioned adding machine. Boy was that the coolest thing ever. I could push buttons and pretend to run a shop to my heart's content. So the childhood me has a little party in the back corner of my brain every time I start a transaction.

The start of April also brought back the Whole30 into our house, or I should say, a modified Whole30. We decided not to be quite as strict this time, allowing things like beans, a little corn, some peanuts, and possibly some chocolate. But otherwise, no dairy, no grains/breads, no sweets, and definitely no soft drinks (though I had cut those out months ago). The biggest hurdle for me is the no grains rule. I love me some bread. Bagels, toast, rolls, crackers, homemade biscuits... mmm mmm! But because I love bread so much, I know I lack the self control to moderate my intake. Most nights when I would get off work, on my drive home I'd start thinking about food and all I'd want to make was cinnamon and sugar toast, slathered in butter. Bad news.

The good news is, I've already been achieving some weight loss, thanks to the diet and my very active job. I realized that it's mostly the job contributing to the weight loss because how else would I be able to walk for four to six hours a day with a desk job? Add to that less crap in my system and I've already been feeling healthier, happier, and slimmer. One of my coworkers noticed the other day, which prompted me to pull out the Wii and weigh myself. Back in January I had set a weight loss goal for myself and last week when I stepped on the Wii Fit board, I was happy to discover that I had met the goal. (A little late, but met nonetheless.) I set a new goal and plan to keep up with this modified Whole30 diet.

On the family side of things, April brought Nick's and my nine month anniversary! (I think that's the one where you say "Happy nine months!" and throw confetti.) Being married has been awesome. It really just feels like hanging out with my best friend and tackling life's challenges together. Some days bring difficult circumstances while other days bring nothing at all, but we always enjoy doing whatever it is together. The main project we're tackling currently is clearing the last few moving boxes out of the spare bedroom so it actually looks like a bedroom and not a storage closet. In the process we've been unearthing some interesting things (mostly my things), like notes from friends in college and old art projects. It's kind of like an archaeological dig into my past.

Also, we had my family over for Easter, which was really fun. We started off by exchanging Easter presents (my mom was so thoughtful and gave us non-edible gifts since we're avoiding sugar), then we had an Easter egg hunt around the condo. I had hidden all the eggs, so I had the pleasure of watching everyone scramble (ha!) around to find the most. I think hiding eggs can almost be as much fun as searching for them. After that, we sat down to a late lunch of ham steaks, potatoes and rolls for those non-Whole30ers, cauliflower puree, green beans, and apple sauce. Nick did most of the cooking, and everything was delicious. We talked for a while, then took a walk down to our local cupcakery (again, for the benefit of those not on a diet). We finished the day with a movie before my parents and brother headed back home.

Besides all that, life has been pretty normal. I'm still working on building up my freelance portfolio, ELM Creative, by writing guest blog posts and book reviews, and doing the occasional blog re-design. I haven't been aggressively pursuing opportunities just yet because I'm enjoying where I'm at currently and I want to build up a collection of work samples first. I love that it gives me a creative outlet and place to start up new projects and partnerships.

I hope that you're having a fantastic April and start to this lovely spring we've been so ready for! :)

Book Review: Captive Trail

Disclaimer: I received a copy of this book from the publisher for the purpose of this review.

"Captive Trail" is the second book in the "Texas Trails" series, following "Lone Star Trail." In "Lone Star Trail" readers are introduced to the Morgan family, which was robbed of its youngest member--a little girl named Billie--by a band of Comanche Indians. "Captive Trail" tells her story.

Billie becomes Taabe Waipu as she is forced to forget her name, language, and culture over 12 years in captivity. We are given a glimpse of her first days with the Comanche, but do not meet her again until she escapes to try to find her family that she barely remembers.

During her escape, Taabe is injured and discovered by a stagecoach driver and a group of nuns on their way to start a mission and school in central Texas. The nuns take Taabe in to care for her and teach her English while the stagecoach driver, Ned, tries to uncover her real identity with the hope of reuniting her with her family. Meanwhile, the Comanche have other ideas, hoping to bring Taabe back to their tribe.

I was excited to read "Captive Trail" because of my interest in and love of Native American history and culture. I was a little disappointed that the book didn't focus more on Billie's time with the Comanche, but it did provide a heart-warming, engrossing story with moments of love, sacrifice, and excitement. In that way, it did not disappoint. I would recommend "Captive Trail" to anyone who enjoys historical fiction, Texas history, Christian fiction, or romance.