What's Missing

These past few days I've been having insanely huge girl friend withdrawals.

I miss the women that know the little pieces that make up my whole. And even though we're scattered all over the place, there's a bond that will last into the next life.

So while it's grey and dreary outside, I decided to write a little about those people I love and miss in a way I can't begin to describe.

One of my best friends in the entire world. We lived together for a year and a half as I finished out my time at Moody.

I still remember the first day we met. I had no idea what to expect, and was just coming off some bad rooming situations.

Brandi and I clicked right away. We shared similar past experiences, understood each other and meshed perfectly. When one of us was excited and hyper, we were both excited and hyper. And when one of us was sad, the other knew how to step in and encourage.

We used to make silly music videos late at night, explore Chicago with the latest guy who was in love with us, share secrets and stories from our day... I always looked forward to coming back to our dorm room.

Now we're miles apart, and yet I still feel like she knows me better than anyone else. I miss her laugh, our inside jokes, watching our favorite tv show together, and having someone know me like she does.

Up until I moved back to Iowa, we had almost the exact same story. We met at Moody, but didn't become friends until we both moved to Colorado.

Jessica and I both moved for the same reason--men that we had seemingly fallen in love with. But relationships sometimes don't work out, and neither of ours did.

We started dating again, broke up again, and are now sporting the single card. I think we both felt like our fates were tied together, and that someday, life would work itself out in that department.

I don't even know where to begin on what I miss about Jess. We used to have so much fun just sitting around doing nothing. Of course we had fun going out and bashing around Denver and the Springs.

I miss most the fact that, while most of my friends are getting married and moving on in life, we were at the same place. And because of that, we understood each other in a way that other people couldn't.

I have to post a photo of these three girls together because we were so connected during our time at Moody. We were all friends, and all served on class council together.

Rachel now lives in Germany, but we had the best times together. We really got close the semester that we had Satanic Themes in Modern Lit together (just about the best class ever with Prof. Angela Brown). For our final project, we filmed a video... and spent more time shooting ourselves doing weird things.

Rachel always made me laugh and feel bubbly. Yet there was always an honest air about our relationship that I treasured.

Megan and I had Communications classes together, and also had a mutual love for the Dryer 2 boys. Megan always made me feel at ease and warm, and somehow we made it through the most chaotic experience of planning the junior-senior banquet together. She lives near Chicago now, and I keep kicking myself that I haven't gone to visit her yet.

I could write an entire book about the part of my life that featured Gracie. We met in high school, when my family moved to Michigan, so she was there for some of the biggest upheaval in my life (twice over). We were in youth group together my senior year, and found out we had both gotten accepted to Moody. It was only natural that we then become roommates.

We lived together for all of freshman year, which was probably the best year I had at Moody. We knew everything about each other, and though we hung out in separate friend circles, we still came back to the same room to share our secrets. I always loved that Gracie knew where I was coming from and supported me completely. And of course, I love that we got in trouble together, just a few times.

A post about Gracie will naturally include my other half at that time, Heidi. And I had to pick this picture because it was the first time we really bonded, and our first "date" at Moody (with guys, not each other).

Heidi and I were neighbors for two years, and pretty much like twins. After we died her hair brown, we looked alike. We also dressed similarly, worked at the same place and played on the basketball team together.

Basketball was probably what bonded us the most, and I will never forget that experience. Heidi had a 100% shooting average from the 3-point line because the only 3 she shot, she made.

At the end of freshman year, we got our bellybuttons pierced together. This was slightly against the rules, but it felt more like a sisterly pact than a crime.

We shared just about everything and were rarely apart. Through the years, we had our rough patches, but always managed to remain friends. I haven't seen her since her wedding two years ago, but I still think of her as one of my best friends.

We didn't really become good friends until later, but Cami and I met at Moody. She would stop by our room a lot to talk to Brandi and that's really how I got to know her.

Cami and I get along so well because we have a similar spirit. We both love to say and do crazy things that most people don't understand. I love making her laugh because I know she finds my very random humor hilarious.

Most of my favorite memories of Cami involve dancing at our friends' big milestones. She's one of the few people that can keep up with me, and there's a few songs we've made our own.

I love that Cami is accepting and doesn't judge or look down on me. She's a true friend, one that anyone would want by their side. She's loyal and dependable, and also a very good writer.

I've enjoyed the times I've gotten to spend with her, and always wish they could've been more before she hopped across the pond to live in England.

Margaret was my first Denver friend. I "met" her via email before I moved, through the guy I was dating (and ended up moving for). She was the only person I met through him who continued to talk to me after we broke up. She invited me to her church and we attended regularly until I moved back to Iowa.

Margaret is always fun to be around. She's hilarious and thoughtful and always selfless. We used to get together to play Little Big Planet. I would also cut and color her hair and she would make me dinner. Margaret loves the Colorado Rockies (baseball team), and it sort of rubbed off on me. Going to her wedding was one of the first things I did when I moved to Denver, and she had it at Coors Field where the Rockies play.

Margaret and her husband would throw fun parties at their house. We'd also go camping/hiking together. We sort of felt like a little family, even though sometimes I was the third wheel.

The night I lost my job, Margaret drove 30 minutes in the snow to come sit with me just so I wouldn't be alone. She's a massage therapist, so I got a really amazing back/head massage that night too.

A few months ago we went through a really hard situation with a mutual friend. I sometimes feel like I abandoned her by moving, but at the same time, I know there isn't anything more either one of use could do. All that's left is for us to continue supporting each other across the many miles.

* * *

These are just a few of the amazing women I've gotten to know over the years, but are definitely some of the ones I miss the most. My hope and prayer is that God would give me more wonderful girl friends, especially out here in little Clinton. I don't know many girls my age, and that is one thing I hope changes soon.

I've always gotten along better with guys than girls, but nothing replaces that sisterly bond. To all my girl friends, I love you tons and miss you almost as much.