Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Our Wedding Story

This post is a little late, but better late than never right? I wanted to write out the events of our wedding, both leading up to it and the actual day, to share with you all and to remember everything for years to come. For those who have followed this journey, it all started with our engagement, continued with wedding planning, and wraps up with this post. For more details, check out the Wedding Directory at the bottom of the "My Wedding" page.

As my wedding got closer, I kept reciting to myself, no wedding is perfect, things will go wrong, and that is perfectly okay. But at 4:15 p.m. on July 13, after all the pictures and partying were done, I realized it had been a perfect day.

The date.
We picked July 13 as an homage to our roots as a couple. We met while attending college at Moody Bible Institute and during that time we lived in the dorms, Nick on the 13th floor of his dorm, me on the seventh floor of mine. (If you don't know much about Moody, you should know that the floor you were on went a long way to defining your college experience, and even who you were as a "Moody." They were like the sororities and fraternities of the Christian college.) When I discovered that 7/13 fell on a Saturday, I knew it had to be. Nick agreed, which made me feel better about my weird obsession with numbers.

The prep.
Planning the wedding was a process of evolution. It started with us envisioning an intimate, outdoor wedding with our closest friends and family to possibly eloping in Chicago with a couple of friends, to what it became--a medium-sized wedding at our church. Neither of us had much money, so we knew that when the church offered to give us a reduced rate on the facility--including a space for the reception--we could not say no. It hadn't been what we had initially wanted, but we decided that we could spend a little more on decorations to transform the space into what we wanted.

I admit, I started wedding planning before we got engaged. I knew we were going to get engaged, and had heard so many people say that you often had to book venues, florists and photographers at least a year out. So I started a few things before our engagement in August 2012. But, most of the planning was stretched out over the 10+ months that followed. Looking back, I'm glad I started early and paced myself. It helped me keep my sanity at the end when the remaining last-minute tasks began to build up. I used a couple of pre-made checklists, just to ensure I didn't forget anything, and set off on the process. We planned mostly on weekends, but still took some off to relax and have fun, which I am also glad for as I look back. It was nice to enjoy the engagement phase without worrying about colors, accessories or guest lists.

Now on the other side of the wedding, it feels like the planning phase was a blur. I don't remember exactly when we decided on specifics or when we ordered the cakes and favors. I just know somehow everything came together. Above all, we wanted our wedding to be "us." I pictured something romantic and classic, with vintage touches, soft textures and lovely colors. Nick was always on board with my ideas, but I had to make sure he really liked them. "Are these colors okay?" "I'm colorblind, you're in charge of colors." He definitely made it easy on me. There were times when I wasn't sure if my "mental vision" for the wedding and reception would really work out. I questioned if it was going to fall apart, be too much or just look silly. But when the Thursday before the wedding arrived, which was the official "decorating day," amazingly, everything came together.

An arsenal of friends and family turned out to help transform the church's "fellowship hall" from a room where Awana games were played to a beautiful place for an afternoon reception. We hung lights and tulle from the ceiling, arranged tables, ironed table cloths, fluffed tissue paper pom poms, placed centerpieces, folded napkins, and did a million other things. On Friday, my cousin arrived with flowers for the centerpieces and golden chair covers. The "dance floor guy" set up the dance floor. And all of a sudden this utilitarian space looked like a wedding reception hall. I will admit, it felt really, really good to see everything I had imagined come to life, and to hear numerous people tell me how great it looked, that they couldn't believe the transformation. Honestly, neither could I.

The people.
When friends and family started arriving from out of town, things definitely felt more real. Before that, I knew the wedding was getting close, but it still felt like a dream. When relatives started getting into town Wednesday, I think it hit both of us that this was really happening. It was amazing to have everyone there--his family from New Jersey and Florida, mine from Michigan, Texas, Ohio; friends from Maryland, Florida, Colorado, Illinois, and Michigan. It struck me just how blessed we were to have friends and family who would give up time and money to travel to Iowa to be with us, some just for one day. Weddings are always strange in that people come from all over to see you, but often you get very little time with them. I was glad even for the small moments we could share.

Our bridal party was made up of some of our dearest and closest friends and relatives. My Maid of Honor was my former college roommate, the person who helped get Nick and I back together, and one of my best friends in the world, Brandi Santos. The Best Man was the older of Nick's two younger brothers, Stephen Mance, one of the biggest helpers the day we decorated. My bridesmaids were my cousin Jenae Loyola-Gibson, my dear friend Jessica Hilgenberg, and Nick's beautiful little sister Joykrystyna Mance. The groomsmen were Nick's youngest brother Joshua Mance, a dear college friend and former co-worker of both of ours Elliot Larimore, and my younger brother Michael Loyola. My uncle Tim Loyola and dad Tom Loyola co-officiated the ceremony while my cousin Crystal Butler's daughter Olivia served as our flower girl. Youth group friends J.P. Watts and Sean Hansen filled in as ushers and Hannah Bolen and Lindsey Norman were our guest book attendants. Our wonderful friend Missy Bolen served as our director of events and my friend Angie Gabriel was my personal attendant.

The weekend.
After I got over the insane decorating hump Thursday (which took about eight hours), I was finally able to focus on enjoying the rest of the weekend. By the time I was leaving the church, I didn't really care about much else. My life had been all about the details for months, and now I was done. I got to unwind that night with my girlfriends at my bachelorette party. It was in many ways exactly what every bachelorette party is, but in the end it turned into just what I needed: girl time with close friends and a chance to simply talk about anything and everything. We scratched the dancing in favor of swapping stories, sipping drinks and staying in my cozy little apartment.

Friday kicked off for me and the girls with a beautiful bridal luncheon thrown by a very dear friend of mine (and Nick's). We ate quiche, salad and cheesecake and shared stories about how we all met. I gave the bridesmaids their gifts and was happy to see that they all liked everything. (There were several moments of fear that my gifts would be lame or not fit their personal style.) After the luncheon it was off to the nail salon for manicures and pedicures, which was so needed, if only to have a chance to sit down. I nearly fell asleep in the pedi chair. After that we had a few hours before the rehearsal dinner. Spare time translated into "packing time" rather than relaxing time at this point, but such is the nature of the beast. The rehearsal kicked off at 5 p.m., going much faster than I imagined it would as I pictured myself walking down the aisle and standing at the front with my bouquet of shower ribbons and bows.

The rehearsal dinner was absolutely one of the best parts of the weekend. After dinner we gave everyone an opportunity to talk if they wished and listening to what people had to share made us laugh, cry and think about the meaning behind what we were doing. We heard words of recollection, affirmation, encouragement and admonition. It was fun to reflect back on the past and hear things we had never been told while looking forward to the future and our lives together. We also shared a photo slideshow we had made to play during the prelude time prior to the ceremony. We knew a lot of the bridal party and family would miss seeing it, so we wanted to give them a chance to watch it uninterrupted. After that it was off to our respective dwellings to grab as much sleep as we could before...

The big day.
Saturday dawned at 6:45 for me, although looking back I wish I had gotten up a little earlier to give myself more prep time. (Also looking back, I remember things in bits and pieces, more like snapshots of the day than a flowing stream of events.) This was one day I may have slightly overestimated my ability to get myself ready for, you know, just my wedding. But somehow I got my makeup on, false lashes glued and hair up (with the help of Brandi). I started out getting ready at my apartment and finished at my parents' house where we took some photos. Meanwhile, Nick and the guys were getting ready at the church.

I made it to the church about 10-15 minutes before the service started and hid out in my dad's office where my dress was fluffed and I read Nick's pre-wedding note to me. Nick was off behind a door that opened into the sanctuary, reading my note to him.

When we were ready to start, I made my way out to the lobby to wait for my time to walk down the aisle. I remember church members who were serving in the kitchen lined up to see me in my dress. They were all smiles. As I stood off to the side I remember Nick's mom coming up to me, hugging me and telling me that I looked "really beautiful." I made my brother come over so I could give him a hug, which he wasn't too interested in. After that, I stood alone for a few minutes, thinking about what was about to happen and fighting off tears. I told myself I wasn't allowed to start crying before the thing even started. It felt like I waited for an eternity to walk down the aisle, which was partly true as the flower girl took it upon herself to empty every last petal from her basket. But then my brother started playing the song we had arranged and I knew it was time to walk.

I had envisioned myself walking down the aisle so many times, the moment frozen in my imagination. Now it's replaced with reality, the reality that walking down the aisle was like walking through a human tunnel, people all around me, but my eyes were fixed at the end. I remember thinking that all I wanted to do was see Nick, and as soon as I could, I locked eyes with him and didn't look away (except for a brief moment when I glanced at my bridesmaids and saw they were all crying, so I immediately looked away). When I got to the end of the aisle, I saw that Nick had tears in his eyes too, and a lone one fell from his right eye when we stopped walking. I expected to be emotional, especially if I saw anyone else crying, but my eyes stayed dry throughout the entire ceremony.

The words spoken are almost entirely a blur. My uncle officiated as my dad gave me away, "Who gives Elise to be married to Nick?" And then my dad was leading us up the steps for the remainder of the ceremony. I remember noticing the rose in his boutonniere fell off and was in his hand. I remember Nick's godmother reading our Scripture passage and a dear friend of ours singing our special music, God Bless the Broken Road, a song Nick had talked to me about years ago. It was special to him and I was so glad we picked it. My dad's message was about seeking Jesus. We wrote our own vows to each other, and I remember being so nervous when it came time to talk in front of everyone. I didn't want to mess up one word, and I didn't, though I stopped myself at one moment, just to make sure. Everyone thought I was getting choked up. We had communion, as a symbol of our foundation, while Nick's sister played the piano. We exchanged rings with our customized ring vows. I kept hoping it would put Nick's ring on the correct finger. We prayed, and then we were pronounced husband and wife and kissed. And just like that it was done and we were walking out to Colbie Caillat's "I do."

The first thing we did was gather in a side room with our bridal party and family. Everyone came in cheering and hugging, laughing and talking about what they noticed during the ceremony. Then we signed our marriage license and took photos. After that, it was party time!

We danced our way into the reception and had the toasts first before sitting down to eat. Lunch was a chicken salad croissant with fresh fruit, a veggie salad and chips. The head table all had glass Coke bottles and striped paper straws. Next we cut the cake, which was so cute and amazingly delicious. Then it was time for the dances, our first dance, then father-daughter and mother-son. Nick and I danced to the duet version of "A Thousand Years," an update to the original version which was on the radio a lot when I first went to New Jersey to visit Nick.

The rest of the reception we spent dancing and chatting with our guests. We had so much fun seeing old friends and new, laughing and celebrating, shuffling to the Cha-Cha Slide and singing ridiculously loud with "Firework." At the end of the reception our friends and family blew bubbles and waved good-bye as we got into the get-away car (which had been covered in toilet paper and window chalk drawings).

After that we took more photos of just the two of us at the arboretum and under one of the bridges that spans the Mississippi. Then our day ended and our honeymoon began, but that's another post. :)

The End. ❤️

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