Monday, December 27, 2010

The Struggle

Today someone told me I should write every day. I agree, though it's difficult to always make myself sit down and write. This same person also told me to keep a blog. I've had this one for a while, but haven't always been good about updating it.

It's my new goal to write more, like I used to. I used to write every day in my journal. I was a lot better about it then because my mom made me do it. Now I have to make myself, which will be something of a challenge.

I also decided to take a different angle with my blog, writing it more as a letter than a blog entry. Each entry, however, will not be addressed to anyone specifically. Like the title, it will remain blank. It's an entry for whomever needs it or wants it; it will be written for you. It will also be written for me, as I'll probably need it the most.

Like tonight.

Tonight I need a good blurb, to process and think. About what exactly, I'm not entirely sure. Life mostly. Life and how much it bothers me when I feel like I should have it all figured out by now. Because I don't, I'm not even close.

I could go on about how I wish it was simpler, or that things came easier or that I always knew what to do. But the truth is, life is about the struggle. A mother struggles to deliver her child, a plant struggles to break free of its shell, a bird struggles to learn how to fly.

And I must struggle. For that is what life is most days, a continuous, unending struggle to live and not give up. And believe me, sometimes giving up is very, very appealing. But those of us that are born fighters know, quitting is not an option.

So I continue on in the hope that one day, life will be right. Perhaps one day, I'll know where I'm supposed to be, and I'll be there. I'll live where I'm supposed to live, work where I'm supposed to work, and love who I'm supposed to love.

Until then, I'll be here. Writing, struggling and working on making sense of it all.


Rachel said...

Welcome back to the blog world. Look forward to reading!

eliseloyola said...

Thanks girl! I miss you.

Rachel said...

I miss you too! You should take a vacation and visit me in Germany. ;)

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