Friday, December 31, 2010

One Day's Ending is Another Day's Beginning

There are so many adages and quotes for times like these. "When God shuts a door he opens a window." "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade."

The truth is, when something ends, you can't really solve it with a clever quote. You have to work through it, the confusion, the fear, until you conquer it, or it conquers you.

Today, I'm learning about endings again. Like most endings, it was unexpected, sort of a slap in the face. The company that I've worked for since August 2009 is downsizing, and part of that meant cutting my position and letting me go.

Initially, I faced the fear... with hysterics. One million questions and zero answers, with me at a loss for what to do. Mentally, I ran through the options, trying to reassure myself that something would work out. But when you're dealing with the fear, it's hard to be rational.

Then I spent some time talking to wiser people than myself, and lots of loving friends, and I learned a few important things. The first, and biggest, came of course from my mother, who is probably the wisest person I know. She said, "God obviously didn't want you there, and he got you out of there quicker than you were getting yourself."

The truth is, when bad things happen, our first instinct isn't typically to say, "This is good, this is part of the plan." Instead we wallow in pity and worry, bemoaning what happened and not considering that it happened on purpose. God, being all sovereign, can and does work through every circumstance, both the good and the bad. And I know he's working through this one.

I'm also learning yet again that trusting God is essential. If you don't believe that he's in control and taking care of you, you will despair. The knowledge that he is looking after me, protecting me and caring for me means I don't have to become distressed or hopeless. The truth is, he's taken care of me thus far; why would he stop now?

Finally, I learned that you have to let people in. When things of this nature happen, it's easy to want to keep them hidden. Really, it's a pride issue. But no one wants the world to know that something they were doing failed. What I had to do is get past that, and acknowledge that I needed my friends and loved ones. Allowing them to effectively love on me meant I had to let them in on what was happening. And I'm very glad I did. I have received so much support, it's overwhelming. I had someone to talk to non-stop from the moment I left work to... now. It hasn't stopped.

So my adage or quote for this experience is, "One day's ending is another day's beginning." I feel like that sums up everything I've learned tonight. This is the end of one day, one chapter, one part of the whole. Tomorrow, a new day dawns, another chapter opens and another piece begins. How fitting that it falls on the end of one year and the start of another.

I can't wait for my new beginning, a glorious dawn full of potential and life. I can't wait for God to open doors, provide in radical ways, and shower me with his love along the way. I know he'll do the same for you, no matter what chapter of life you find yourself in, and I hope that brings you encrouagement.

Happy New Year. :)


Rachel said...

Way to be positive, even when it kinda sucks. Now you should *definitely* think about BFA... yes, I'm being shamelessly pushy now because I honestly think that not only would you make a great RA, but you would LOVE it. :)

camille nicole said...

Love you girl.
Now you really CAN come and live out here with me!!!
Seriously though, proud of you, and I understand where you're coming from completely. As usual.

Melinda said...

First of all, I'm glad you're blogging; that makes me very happy. (I've just started again and so I'm happy when people I like are into it)

Sorry things are hard, but glad you're opening yourself up to the wisdom of other people and to what God can do in the hard stuff. It's kinda sucky that so much of our growth happens in the times that hurt so much, but it's God to make something beautiful out of the shit.

love you

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