Thursday, February 4, 2016

A Real Love Story: Sharing the Truth About Marriage

Recently I came across this post on the Humans of New York Facebook page. It contained a photo of an older gentleman holding a copy of Shakespeare's sonnets, and his thoughts on love. I read it, liked it, and didn't really think much more about it. The words written there resonated with me, but it wasn't until later--after reading a blog post about divorce--that I returned to it.

There was truth written there. It wasn't overly profound; it was simple, yet beautiful. I realized that parts of what this gentleman had said were true of my marriage. I could see our lives in what was written there. It was real, every-day life, and I loved that.

I've only been married two and a half years, I fully admit I don't know much about marriage and love, but I am learning. I walked a long road leading up to marriage in which I needed to correct my skewed view of love, formed by what culture had painted for me as "normal" or "expected." I'm glad I had that time, that I married "later" and was able to correct my ideas and views before entering into marriage.

I think we do a lot of disservice to marriage, and to singles, in the pictures we paint and the stories we write about love. It's always so unrealistic, so picture-perfect, so necessary. We set people up to feel like failures when their marriage doesn't mirror the "perfect ideal" of love, or when they don't marry. And where does that lead? Frustration, anger, disappointment, fractured relationships, identity crises, maybe even divorce.

I don't want to be one of those types of people, who pretend it's all roses and aren't honest about real love and marriage. I don't want to paint you a picture that looks perfect, but isn't real. I want to be honest, I want to write truth, I want to stand up for real love and marriage. Because real life is what we all live, and though it is messy and scary and hard, it is also beautiful and amazing.

So this year as Valentine's Day approaches and our culture focuses on love and relationships, I'm vowing to honestly  write about marriage and love. I'm vowing to go against culture and share the truth from what I've learned, seen, and experienced when it comes to relationships. And I'm encouraging you to do the same.

Stay tuned as I continue the #RealLoveStory series and share some more posts on this topic in the coming days. If you have questions or a topic you'd like to see covered, let me know! You can leave it in the comments, or email it to me. (If you don't want your name tied to your question, let me know and I will share it anonymously.) 

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