Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Thirty-One Days of Photos: Day 27

Today we actually got some snow! I was pretty excited when I woke up and looked outside. Sort of felt like being inside a snow globe, only less wet.

Today was a pretty good day. More shopping (though I was good and didn't buy anything... minus one little cup of Starbucks gold), lots of driving around, and both versions of the Willy Wonka movies.

I was realizing tonight that I always conveniently forget one minor detail prior to visiting relatives. That being my relatives' interest in asking about or commenting on my dating life, or lack thereof. I was trying to figure out why this sort of bothers me, and I think it's because of all the places I'd like to be able to forget about it, it's with family. But of course it really is the last place I can forget about it.

Once you reach a certain age (around 22 or whenever you cross the milestone of college graduation), the next--and possibly last--milestone on the horizon is marriage. And of course relatives always want to know when to expect to meet Mr. Right, celebrate with you on the big day, and see photos of the new baby.

Alas, I have managed to disappoint in this area for the last three years (soon to be four, but who's counting?), so now the comments are ever-so-subtly changing. Now it's not always when, but if.

But I digress. My main point in bringing this up was to explain why I feel so disappointed in the fact that I can't forget about my non-existent dating life around family. Or more accurately, to try to understand why I feel disappointed. You know when you have those off days and you can't put a finger on why you feel that way? Well, this was one of those days. And I'm partly assuming my disappointment has something to do with it.

I think it comes on the heels of last week's comments on my singleness from one person who shall remain anonymous. Ultimately, why such comments bother me I don't completely understand. All I know is, they do. I think it has something to do with making me feel like a societal screw-up, or a disappointment. But I think I already realized I can be both of those things at any given time, despite my current relationship status.

So really, I arrive at nothing. No reason why I should feel disappointed when people point out the obvious. It's not a crime to observe what's really going on. Except when it pops my bubble of oblivion.

I've done a dang good job of making myself forget the parts of my life I can't control (virtually all of it) and strongly dislike (my relationship status could or could not be one such part). Of course that's not to say there aren't times it isn't glaringly obvious, even when no one's commenting on it, but those times are less frequent than my times of happy oblivion. So when oblivion shatters into reality, it's safe to say I get in a funk, at least for a day, until I can get myself back into the bubble.

This week has been an on-again, off-again battle between oblivion and glaring reality. The only thing I can say is, I've learned there is no safe place. At work, it always comes up in conversations that even remotely relate to men, singleness, marriage and/or dating. Among friends it's less frequent, but still surfaces in the token rant. And during the random social setting where someone feels the need to point out the obvious at every single person's expense. In all these, there is one reality: there is no safe haven for the single adult.

Well, that's pretty much all I had to say. I feel a lot better having gotten all of that out. Should anyone read this and feel guilty for past comments, don't. This wasn't meant as a guilt trip. Every person (me especially) needs a moment where brutal honesty reigns supreme and they can say whatever the heck they want. That, my friends, is why I keep this blog.

Thank you, and goodnight.

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